my story. my life

ok....yesterday...went for movie...watch 13 going 30....nice show....sometimes....i really anticipate wat will happen to mi 10 years later....how will i look....how my life will be....wat i will be working as...will i have a bf by then....will my 'him' loves mi as much as i do....all this i wanna know....sometimes i have the urge to go to the fortune teller to 'calculate' my life....but...wat if the result turns out to be a bad thing? i'll keep living in this world with fear...thinking that doing this and that will harm my life, cross the road will think that a car will knock mi down....then...wats the use of living in this world then? all u do is fearing this fearing that...u wun be able to enjoy the happy and meaningful moments....its so pathetic rite? but u know wat....even if the fortune teller gives mi a negative result...i still wanna know wat will happen to mi in the future....haha...pengZ. den one of my friend is out of love....although i feel sorry for her...but i envy her at the same time too...cos she have this chance to go thru the process of heart ache...the feeling of out of love....the feeling of dumping a guy....the feeling of being dumped by a guy. her life is so colourful....well...but mine is just plain water....but i so lucky to have a bunch of frens ard mi...who add abit of blue and pink colourings to the cup of plan water. wat if 10 years later....still no guy want me? haha...i might consider going to match-making session...and im not joking....cos i can't imagine myself being alone when im old...with no children and husband there for u....its so lonely....i dunno lah....maybe 10 yrs down the road...i might change the way i think right now....i might feel that being alone is not a bad thing too....haha....c im think so much now.... had my japanese test today...was quite confident that i will pass the return test but not pass very weill lah....as for the oral part....hahaha.....i make a fool out of myself...fail for sure....haha....dun wish to tok abt it lah....tomorrow will start to work as a promoter @ bengawan solo. haiz...although got $$ to earn...but i oso sacrifice a lot of thingy lor....like singapore idol....the idol drama 'ai qing he yue'...the time to gather to do project....haiz....y muz life be so difficult? u gain something , u will lose another thing....haiz....can someone tell mi y?