haiz....tired.... leg very 'sour' step on lemon le. juz came back from work so long time never stand so long le... since 2 months ago.... stand frm 3pm to 10.30pm.... so amazed by myself as i can tahan long standing hours. haha. heard that parkway had very good sales on mooncakes last sunday. i think they sell $1200 juz on mooncake alone i felt so proud for them. although my heart is not with them.... my spirit....my heart...my soul will always be with them... but too bad cos bedok ia more accessible compared to parkway... so sad lucky make 1 new fren she so cute haha missed my taiwan idol drama oso... so sad.... haiz but earn $$ can go buy vcd~~ geez

ok...i have a problem now...i muz choose a topic out of these lame topic to make a speech : How can Singaporeans be encouraged to get married and have babies to reverse the trend of falling birth rates? Do you think Singlish is a necessary language? How did the elephant get its trunk? If you had a million dollars, what would you do? How would you spend your last hour on earth if you knew you were going to die? Which teacher do you remember most and why? What do you look for in your ideal spouse? Do you think chewing gum should be banned? What can you do with a flower pot? Who do you admire the most in your class? LAME TOPICS......

ok....yesterday...went for movie...watch 13 going 30....nice show....sometimes....i really anticipate wat will happen to mi 10 years later....how will i look....how my life will be....wat i will be working as...will i have a bf by then....will my 'him' loves mi as much as i do....all this i wanna know....sometimes i have the urge to go to the fortune teller to 'calculate' my life....but...wat if the result turns out to be a bad thing? i'll keep living in this world with fear...thinking that doing this and that will harm my life, cross the road will think that a car will knock mi down....then...wats the use of living in this world then? all u do is fearing this fearing that...u wun be able to enjoy the happy and meaningful moments....its so pathetic rite? but u know wat....even if the fortune teller gives mi a negative result...i still wanna know wat will happen to mi in the future....haha...pengZ. den one of my friend is out of love....although i feel sorry for her...but i envy her at the same time too...cos she have this chance to go thru the process of heart ache...the feeling of out of love....the feeling of dumping a guy....the feeling of being dumped by a guy. her life is so colourful....well...but mine is just plain water....but i so lucky to have a bunch of frens ard mi...who add abit of blue and pink colourings to the cup of plan water. wat if 10 years later....still no guy want me? haha...i might consider going to match-making session...and im not joking....cos i can't imagine myself being alone when im old...with no children and husband there for u....its so lonely....i dunno lah....maybe 10 yrs down the road...i might change the way i think right now....i might feel that being alone is not a bad thing too....haha....c im think so much now.... had my japanese test today...was quite confident that i will pass the return test but not pass very weill lah....as for the oral part....hahaha.....i make a fool out of myself...fail for sure....haha....dun wish to tok abt it lah....tomorrow will start to work as a promoter @ bengawan solo. haiz...although got $$ to earn...but i oso sacrifice a lot of thingy lor....like singapore idol....the idol drama 'ai qing he yue'...the time to gather to do project....haiz....y muz life be so difficult? u gain something , u will lose another thing....haiz....can someone tell mi y?

its a long day. didnt blog yesterday cos im busying studying my stats test. ok. spent $39 on pimple cream yesterday. cos i juz can't stand the sight on pimples staying and never leaving on my face. if that pimple cream still doesnt work......let mi think abt how to crash that pimple cream company down...cos it cost mi a bomb! today....went jurong point with wen and ling. no time no c them liao....eat mos burger for lunch den chat abt our daily life den went shop shop. haha. i didnt buy anything except for a hair clip and a lip gloss...i can control myself well...yeah~~ den wen buy 2 piece of clothes from giodarno and ling bought 1. den had desert at the food court. den we went home. had lunch at the usual restaurant near U.E. square. cos its my grandpa b day....and its oso jin's b day....haha....happy b day to both of them....

tired. bed infront of mi pls. haiz... found out that dad is stressed too. haha. he today supposed to fetch my sis back frm tuition de. but my sis having tuition at bedok reservoir. and guess where my dad go? haha. he went parkway to wait for my sis. i laugh till pengZ. sometimes i wonder wat will happen if this world dun have a thing called phone....den we cannot call and communicate each other.... its a great invention! went jogging today. haha. dun ask mi y. someone commented that i grew fat. haha. den also felt guilty for eating too much the pass few days. so run lor. run non stop for 30 mins. haha. quite a short distant lah. but no stamina liao. once i stop cant continue. too long never exercise le. i want to swim...but i scared...cos this month is 7th month. i know im being pantang...but im not prepared for the worst. wat if i die? haha...choY! grandma went for operation today to check whether the lump at the side of her breast is cancer or not....*prays hard for her* i love her very much...pls let nth happen to her....pls i think sat event to celebrate in's b day oso gone liao la......sian 1/2...everytime oso like tt....

had my presentation today. its saddening. haa. feel kind of down. its hui mei's bday today. tret her kfc for lunc and bought her a slice of cake. haha. den went for the stupid sex talk abt sex, std and aids. sianz. its like every year also listen to this kind of stuff. slept thru it though. haha. then wake up when they show us a video clip. funny. haha. went home with xin, wei tai and jing wei. think tts all for today.

im a naughty girl today! pon my management tutorial and go westmall shopping play arcade...although i felt guilty, but i still feel a little sense of achievement as i mangement to pon...haha.... bought jerry yan cheng xu cd. yupZ. i really bought it. haha. the songs inside were nice lor. all i can say abt him is he is really very hardworking, his vocal really got marked improvement. alot of feelings can be felt when u hear him sing. hmmm....no regrets buying. den went parkway with xin hui to collect my wages for the last 3 days of my work 2 months ago. den chatted a while. den Li lin say i grow fat le....HMPH!!! i muz start to exercise more again. felt so sad lor..... haiz...i dunno how to do statistic lor. very sian le....wat standard deviation and variance....im going mad...how m i gonna face the test this sat neh? haiz.... got back my management and econs test le...haha...i think i did bad. scored the lowest among my clique. although feel a little sad...but after a while, no feelings le....mangement got 70% while econs 73% . haiz. grade B for both. can't get use to poly grading system....haha...cos with this result i got, i tot i got A2...haha tomorroe got IDEA presentation. hehe....now re-invent my sling file le....include a flowery scent on the fabric cover. which means that wherever u go, u will bring that flowery scent with u. the most amazing thing is....the scent can help in weight loss....haha....found this scent on net and found it so facinating and amazing...so decided to include in my project...heez....hope i can do well tml....*god bless mi*

*phew* finally finished up my IDEA project. went woodlands tday damn far. took 1.5 hrs to go hm. sianz 1/2 haha. okok... later chn u got the ghost show wanna c byebye

My japanese name is 中村 Nakamura (center of the village) 美紅 Miku (beautiful crimson).
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ya.
believe it or not
im actually a joker of my class.
not in terms of how humorous i am
but because of my body mass and size.
sad-ed.
but they say it was a harmless joke....
i hope so...

not in a very good mood today.
had accounts tests in the morning.
i think will pass ba...
den after tt chatted with karen and germaine while wating for hui mei to finish her interview.
tok about boyfriends, friends and sex.
haha
found out that i was quite innocent
geez.
after tt had pizza hut for lunch den went k box after tt.
heez
so long never sing le.
shiok.

but im still very stress.
i dunno when will all my projects finish
i wonder when can i graduate
i wonder...i wonder....i wonder....

will go to woodlands for project again tml.
sianz.
im sick of travelling
i need a diskman.
but a good one is expensive.
will have to consider its opportunity cost.

and ya. singapore ping pong lose.
so sad.
i wonder y she cant win 1 more match when her probability of winning is so great.
but
if she tried her best,
i shall say nth.
gain more experience thru losing....
win next time ba
well done li jia wei

ya....saddening day cos eric withdraw frm SP le tt means my class got less 1 guy le. he says he wanna go NP and he juz waste $1000++ lor haiz sad-ed good bye eric though i didnt speak much to u u r still a very nice class mate to have. today, when going for lunch, hui xian received a phone call. it was her mum she told her that her grandma juz pass away

saddening.

but she was strong.

she held back her tears lor. though we know that she is very sad. haiz. if i were her, i surely can't contrrol my tears de......

dun wish to tok abt anything, anymore....

mood got affected a little

didnt blog for 2 days. ya. lazy heez. i feel like there are troubles bothering mi, but i juz can't find out the actual reason that is bothering mi. den everyday like feel so sad oso dunno y. haiz didnt go and c evonne xu hui xin concert @ my school. saded. maybe this is the reason ba. will swim tommorrow. *stretch myself* so long never exercise le. this sat will be having Accounts test. but i dunno how to do everything. im so confused abt the dunno wat trial balance and balance sheet thingy. i'm going bonkers.....

and ya....forget to add...im going over to my grandma's new hse to stay tonite...yeppie!!

a note for clarissa

had fun today. but tired as well. heez. ok. forst thing for today is....Econs test. ok lah...its neither difficult nor easy. manageable. but will pass or not....i dunno...geez. after that walk from T21 to T1 to have MOB test. haha. oso quite ok lah. pass or not is oso another problem. after the MOB test, went to bugis went xin hui as xin hui wanted to but smth for chun hui. haha....walked round and round, finally got that pendant for her. hope she will like it. ^^ and ya. finally had the tako pachi i craved for days. shiok i muz say. cos so long didnt eat le. after tt, went pasir ris to meet the rest. amanda and jia min were late. den mi, xin, chun and teck chiat go shop first den settle down @ macdonalds to have some finger food. after amanda and jia min arrived, we sat down for a while to chat first lor... den sign up for macdonal's thingy den go pasir ris park. decided to juz take a walk at first cos dun feel like riding. den settle down at a bench looking after our belongs with xin and teck chiat. amanda and chun cycle while jia min went jogging. haha. den took fotos here and there den end our activities there lor. haha. we took so many fotos lor. tech chiat camera is chio....i want~~~ had long john's silver for dinner. chun's treat. heeZ. we had lots of fun and laughter in the bus on our way to tampines. chun oso opened the present we bought for her. and she likes it very much. the watch suit her. haha. xin taste not bad ar.... upon reaching, can't find space to accomodate the six of us.....cos of some inconsiderate pple. but still mange to grab the six seats table in the end. den had fish n chicken plate. yummy. den chatted and gossips alot. share tots on some thingy. very relaxing lah....cos i enjoy gossiping~~ yea~~ tts mi. haha. den we go bossini buy clothes. pple were like pratically snatching and ransacking the whole place lor. cos the place on sales up to 70%. den i bought a white top @ $12. they say it fits mi. i feel ok lah.... den went home. was like keep speaking english. i enjoy speaking english. makes mi feel tt i got standard. but i can only do it verbally. look at the english i write now, its so broken. it sucks~~haha. choir have concert today at sentosa. didnt make it there. but clar sms mi to tell mi that the whole show was dissapointing partly cos of mr liew. and it was the last concert she is having. she is so sad now. clarissa....juz like wat i tell u, the results we get back is always unexpected. we put so much effort in choir but wat we always recieve at the end most of the time is always negative. i oso dunno y. but wats more important is the process. we enjoyed ourselves although sometimes there are unhappiness. but we still got the sweet memories, the sad memories. and these memories stay with us forever. its oso an experience which money can't buy. we can't expect positive results lor...since u knoe mjr choir is wat kind of choir. haha....dun mean anything but thats a fact. i know u feel really sad now and i know wat u are going thru now...its juz a process lor. after a while, a certain period of time, u will forget some of the unhappy things....and think of it u will laugh to urslef. wats important now are the exams. so juz pull urself together and perform ur last shot for the 'O's ya? will be there for u always.... smile~~come'on...i know u can do it...cos u are clarissa....and dun forget u sux ya? haha. jia you!

went TM after school today. bought Chun hui's prezzie. heard that o lvl chinese result out le. wonder how my frens fare. choir having concert @ sentosa this sat. cant go back cos im having CA at that time. sad-ed. but my heart will always be with them. and to clarissa: cheer up kay? u done ur best! juz continue to strive for the remaining subjects. although i dun quite knoe wat u are tryin to tell mi on fone juz now, i think i quite get it now. erm....really...if u wanna chat, juz dial my no. ok? love u always!

我知道伤心不能改变什么
那么 让我诚实一点诚实
难免有不能控制的宣泄
只要关上了门 不必理谁

一个人坐在空荡包厢里面
手机 让它休息一夜难
像切歌切掉回忆的画面
眼泪不能不能流过十二点

生日快乐 我对自己说
蜡烛点了 寂寞亮了
生日快乐 泪也融了
我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切

还爱你 带一点恨
还要时间 才能平衡
热恋伤痕 幻灭重生
祝我生日快乐

a song by wen lan, landy.
title is zhu wo sheng ri kuai le.
nice song.
really.

another day gone. 2 more days to Management and Econs Test. actually nth special happen to day. juz the same old normal routine. wanted to pon school today. was lying on my bed @ 7.20 am wondering if i should wake up. haha. in the end, mum came into my room and switched off the air-con. n so, i decided to wake up. sometimes i wonder....y study so much. we'll forget all those maths formulas and chemical reaction after years of working in the society. and now we are struggling in this formulas, busing mrmorizing things which are meant to be forgetten. haha. funny rite? juz cos of the certificate. a cert which will generate $$ for ya future. in the train today on my way home, pple start squeezing in at cityhall mrt station. and after a while, got 1 old man started argueing with one young man. the old man was like pissed off with the young man or something like tt. not so sure lah. anyway, the old man started using 'not-so vulgur' language to school the young man lor. and i wonder y pple can juz disgrace themselves like tt in the public. can u imagine how many pairs of eyes were staring at them? haiz. dun care them lah. not my business anyway. juz now watch sg idols. that banana man was funny. haha. lol gtg. nitez.

always tot that poly life wun be as stressed as jc de...but im wrong...everyone is so stress now. i dunno why... i juz feel so frustrated...i juz wanna cry silently...i juz wanna sing loudly...i juz wanna laugh hysterically...i juz wanna eat like a glutton w/o getting fat...i juz wanna all my pimples to dissappear...i juz wanna c all my frens...i juz wanna sleep whole day....i juz wanna go chase ENERGY....i juz wanna vanish frm the earth instantly...i juz wanna secape frm everything...escape frm stress, tests, frens, teachers, parents, sisters, myself and everything in this world. but the thing is...when will all these ' i wish, i wanna' come true?

i hate pple who are anti-social...but i feel like one myself. i juz can't get along with pple well...i can't express myself well...its already more than half a term and guess wat? i still have abt 5 more pple in class whom i haven tok to b4. pathetic mi. *laugh out loud* samantha, you are sh*t! seems like eveerything is this world pissed mi off...*bang the door*

dun care abt mi...im juz vexed...im juz lonely...im juz...a girl still at growing up phase...a childish girl, i should say.

say happi bday to sg.... say gd bye to goh chok tong. i'll miss him.... ok.... didnt study today despite there is a mock test tml. slack the whole day. *say cheese* watch how i'll die tml. went takashimaya. spent $200 there. my sis n i spent on OP stuffs. but i only buy a yellow OP shirt partly cos i dun have a yellow tee and nth in OP appeals to mi....except those chio flip flops. but mum disagree with tt. *hmph* after that went to changi airport 1stly-- to fetch my uncle who went to thailand (AGAIN) 2ndly -- to have dinner. haha.. such a boring day. and the most boring thing for today is theres sch tomorrow. -sianz- i still have the holiday mood i dun have the urge to study.... wait. sg idol is hilarious. especially that lemon tree guy. omg~~ *laugh till head roll off* wonder where his courage came frm... and theres a girl who cried b4 she started singing. and theres a guy who sang so soft ... but he insist the judges to give him comments when the judges cldn't even hear him his expression is funny. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah wheres the ambulance? im going to die frm laughing. someone save mi... but i really admire their courage. @ least they have that n i dun have. the judges are mean. they critisize until....erm....dunno how to say. but nevertheless, wish all contestants good luck! nitey niteZ *muacks*

8 hrs and 20 min more to national day. happi national day!

sad-ed i wanna cry now. all my photos are missing. my uncle didnt save them. *sobz* all my memories with my frens, in japan all gone.

ok....long time no blog liao...
its a busy week.
almost forgot wat happen 3 days ago.
so i'll update on yesterday...

went back to manjusri yesterday cos clarissa says she needs help for the inter-cca competiton.
n since im available in the morning, i agreed lor.
den meet clarissa and li ling(junior) @ badok mrt station and we took a cab to manjusri.
and the thing is i only slpt for 4 hrs.
so the whole day i was so giddy n drowsy.
den shun wei came to sch at abt 7 am also to help out....
but left ay 8.15 am cos she have lesson at 9am.
so im left alone thr.

den the choir went for the competition...
and i was all alone again.
i expected some ex-mjr to come back
but there was none.
everyone was looking at mi
and i could c that they want to ask mi " how come u r here?"
haiZ.... but nvm lah...i feel better when choir won.
we got 1st!
haha
so happi.
realli didnt expect that we can get 1st lor.
cos others like girl guides and red cross did quite well too!
but everyyear oso same things happen lah.
other cca (dun mention wat cca lah) not happy with us lor.
say wat the chairman of choir is a prefect.
and 1 of the judge is prefectorial board de teacher...
omg~~ look @ this type of comment
wat is this?
if choir can't sing, n u can sing, den y can't u win?
choir dun join the competition u say choir chicken out.
choir join the competiton u scared we win
oh fuck lah
wat the hell u want the choir to do?
really can't stand those childish cca
can't they have a little sportsmenship?

after tt went bugis with jun kai and clar for brunch.
ate yoshinoya.
and shop ard
den went sch.
can't concentrate during lectures cos my eyes were like half open half close.
too tired to listen
too tired to write.

after school go my ah-jim's hse to have my hair trim and cut.
i feel so refreshing now.
haha.

yeah
my computer is back from the doctor!

yozzie...
im in sch now.
having ITAB.
haha...

my hse computer breakdown lah...
so cant update my blog.
so peepz...
b4 my computer 'recover',
dun miss mi too much!
*muackz*

went to germaine's hse to do project today.
sat the North East line for the 2nd time in my life cos she lived at sengkang.
den only karen,mi n germaine were in charge of the model making.
but den i muz thx her mother cos without her mum around, we wun be able to make it.
cos she is the one tt do almost every part of the sewing and stitching for us.
haha. enjoy chatting with her mum alot. she looks young although she is in her fifties.

den do until halfway, germaine had to accompany her bf's sis go watch NDP
so left mi, karen n her mum.
we managed to finish up. but it was alredy 8pm when everything is done.

had dinner at her place cos her dad packet nasi lemak for us.
thankew her dad also.
haha

actually, sengkang district is a rather quiet district.
very few cars on the road.
n the worst thing is, there is 1 block of 16 storey flat where only 4 units got somebody live.
scary sia...
wonder how they survive during the 2 hrs black out period.

die lah...very stress leh...
have alot of tutorials haven do lor
project oso haven finish
all must pass up on mon.
but i really tired.
please...give mi some energy....