my story. my life

finally.
FOM presentation is over.
well,
things turned out so unexpectedly.
but wat is over is over.
no use asking who's at fault or who should be responsible.
really had a great yet diffucult time working with you guys.
sok, wen hao, desmond and rony.
we finally finished.
thats worth celebrating!!
hip hip hooray!

ok. the happy part is over.
here comes the sad part.
the operation my ah gong had recently was no use.
he still have to go thru radiotheraphy for 1.5 hrs everyday starting frm 2 wks later.
soon, his hair will drop.
he will feel weak.
he will feel nauseous.
its a torturous and painful process.
i cant bear to see my once-so-healthy ah gong to become this state.
y him?

learnt frm ling and wen.
somethings i wanna blog which i dun really wanna share should be blogged like this:

lao ge. i dunno if u will be able to read this. but if i really can read, then i oso think its time to let you know. but i think its kinda impossible for you to know this. 4 yrs ago, i start to have feelings for you. i tot its only a crush. i tot i'll soon forget you after you graduate. i tot i really really forget you when we just didnt contact each other for the past 2 yrs. ya. thats wad i really tot. and obviously i was wrong. eversince we contacted each other again 1 month ago. memories that i buried deep in my heart keep flashing back and playing like a film without sound. sweet and sad ones, i dun care. i think u have no idea how deep u've hurt mi when u told mi that u like the other girl. asking mi for suggestions and listening to ur woes on her. but i dun wanna be ur burden after all the problems you have. thats y i rather keep all these sadness to myself. dun worry, i never blamed you before. cos i juz dunno how to blame you. maybe its because i really like you ba. think u also have no idea how pain and sad is it for mi to really arrive at the decision of giving you up. yeah. several nites of slping on wet pillow, drenched by my tears. sometimes i oso wonder y is it u that i like? dun ask mi why, cos i myself haven found out the real answer. whenever i have nth to do, i'll think of you. and this will make mi wanna cry because, from now on, i can no longer continue to develope further feelingd for you. cos i dun wanna be hurt again and again. i bet with time with ur sms reply. and the time also tell mi not to clinge on to hope because i lose the bet with time. u didnt reply during the give time period i've set. from then on, u will only forever to my brother, and no more other. i'll only be your sister. you keep wanting to meet up. but i keep finding reasons to reject you. i dunno why cant i meet you face to face. maybe cos ur physical appearance really change alot compared to 2 yrs ago. sorry to say that, maybe looks matter to mi too. i have no courage to face you. or rather, theres a fear within mi that i sort of cant conquer it.
goodbye.
really goodbye.
i dun wanna be hurt again.
never.