my story. my life

sometimes, i wonder if wad i did was mean.
mean in the sense that, i've hurt somebody (from wad i've said/done) to make myself gain frm something or to make myself happier.
but other times i oso wonder that,
y cant we be mean to people?

seriously, i always feel that humans are selfish.
dun ask mi y,
i wun bother to give my long explanation.
everyone wants to survive in this harsh world.
and sacrifices have to be made.
but bear in mind that the sacrifices we made doesnt have to be something of our own.
it may be the feelings or the other party etc etc.

but normally, we wont show the mean side of us to pple.
and today, frm work, i've learnt a lesson.

theres this lady with fabulous figure came in, stood in front of the ice cream for sometime, tried almost all the flavours of the ice cream, tell mi that she dunno wad to choose, den start telling mi those ice creams will make her FAT.
ok. i mean, if u already step into this shop, u have the intention to eat icecream liao, den y bother so much abt how fattening the ice creams are.
besides that, she's not FAT. if she's FAT, den wad m i?
sometimes i really wonder, THIN pple who keep saying they are FAT FAT FAT, are they trying to mock at my horrendous figure? i mean its like, they are indirectly shooting mi.
u may say im sensitive.
ya! im SENSITIVE! can?!

ok. back to the lady. finally she decided on wad to buy.
and she requested for bigger scoop.
in my heart, i go like : " who is the one who say ice cream will make her fat?!"


and after she left the shop, i started complaining her to my colleague.
blah...blah...blah....
in other words, im saying bad stuffs behind people's back.
this make mi a very mean person.
but i found out that,
by doing this mean stuff (saying bad stuffs behind pple back)
i started to feel better.
and i begin to ask myself y?
is it because im born to be a mean girl?
i really hope its not.
but finally, i come out with a logic that which seems quite true to mi.
and the logic is :
"sometimes, we have to be mean to pple to achieve emotional balance."

we'll be emotional imbalance if we are always good to people.
some people dun deserve our kindness.
this is when we can be mean.
as a librian,
being emotionally balance is impt.
therefore,
to me, being mean to people occasionally is nth wrong.
well, to u, it may be an excuse.
but to mi, this is L-O-G-I-C.

results out tml.
argh.
bless mi!