hello everybody. i've been leading my life fruitfully, how about u?
everyday, i go to work, leaving at 5.30pm sharp.
and then followed by my after-work activities!
oh. im so loving it.





tues was my youngest sis bday. after the birthday dinner, we went IKea!
daddy bought a full-length mirror for us. u Know, mirror and girls are always best friends.
he bought a extended round mirror so i could sit down on the table to make-up instead of standing by my wardrobe cardboard everyday.

presenting to you, my lovely sisters.
they may be damn irritating at times, but i tell you, they are sweet as well.
its good to have sisters!
(so i can bully them! wahahah)






Wed i met up with my long lost friend. --NG XIN HUI
the most hilarious thing i heard of the week, was her finger and fish bone story.
we went Far east to shop and had Sakae for dinner.
happy!




i think both of us looked alike. dun you think so?








While shopping at Heeren, we saw this damn pretty dress!
we love it so much, and we want it V V V much.




guess how much it cost?
$109!!!

but its on 15% discount!

anybody wanna get this for me?

pls pls!!! *puppy eyes*





Thurs, had dinner and shopped with wen, man and wei!
had our budget dinner at Long Johns.
and i tell you,
the service crew of Marina Square de LJS have a very serious attitude problem.
they are lucky that Lao Niang's mood is good that day,
if not....
(imagine the consequence yourself)

















Without these 3 ladies above, i guess i wont be as happy today.
Love you girls! Muacks.


Sat! finally meet up with princesses in the morning!
i feel so pretty yesterday!





i feel like a princess. haha. I know its very very BHB but i keep asking my parents,
how can they give birth to such a pretty daughter.
wahaha.
*sense danger around me*








we took neoprints!
and so far, this is the prettiest neoprint we've ever took!
so happy.
and because Miss Wu only had this 2 pictures up,
so theres only these 2.
haha.










everybody deserves a chance,
just like how im given an opportunity sometimes.

and hence, im giving it a try.
i dunno how the outcome will be like,
i just dun wan to regret.

possibilities of feeling heartbreak vs regrets,

i choose heartbreak.

朋友，

我不知道
自己的心还会痛多久。

我不知道
以后还会不会这样的去相信。

我只知道，
我会学着更爱惜自己，
把每一天都活出精彩来。

时间会把伤痕冲淡，
一切都会在时间的旅程，
成为美丽的回忆。

我们已是彼此的旁观者，
我会好好地过我的生活，
你也一定要。

ok. this post will be a brief description of what is happening.

22nd May 2007.
graduation ceremony.
i looked abit retarded in here, so i expect the real photo which will be sent to my house to be an ugly one. im not looking at the camera at all! and i looked so tired.
but ah. wadever. at least i've graduated.



as i haven receive any photos from my dear chua hui mei, so pictures of the k box session and some group grad photo will be updated later.

30th May 2007

went shopping with wen and wei to shop for clubbing clothes.
the below photo is photoshopped cos the real foto, i have serious heavy eyebags which is disgusting.
i shall not cry so much in the future so i wont have any more serious eyebags!



after shopping, went mandy's hse to doll up ourselves for the night.
and 3 women doing make-up and changing really can create havoc!

cam-whoring session before stepping out of the house!






i put on eyeliner and fake lashes with thick make-up.
i feel so great being pretty and beautiful! *whistle*
and for the 1st time, i wore sleeveless out, showing off my flabby arms.
but i dun really care much anymore,
cos i feel so pretty and beautiful that night.

finally managed to hail a cab and we headed to.....



it was so damn crowded. we queued for 2 hrs before gg in!
and danced till they close shop!
shiok man! sweat alot! danced alot! but drank a little only.
dance and sweat till my hair really messy!

actually clubbing is a very tiring activity sia!
we went home with sore feet and aching body!
and when i remove my make-up,
the whole cotton wool turns black! serious!
imagine the amount of impurities that are present in the surrounding air inside the club.

but nevertheless, to enjoy clubbing, u must club with the right pple.
and i really enjoyed myself that night, despite my lousy mood.

and so....presenting you the right pple to club with!

Us, with sharon, terrence and lex. all shun wei de friends!






hmm....recently, chatted with tobbie, and he sent me smth.





tears speak a thousand words.

i dunno how much i've cried for the past few days.
they must be equivalent to thousand millions of words.

but only through this kinda problems,
i know that im loved by so many people.

my parents, my sisters, mL, weekdays, jiayi, huimei
they were all so worried for me.

dont worry guys. i wont do anything silly.

i spent my night at mandy's hse last night with shun wei.
we chatted and relate each other's experience.
and i really really sit down and think through thoroughly.

sometimes, somethings are not meant to be.
and we really have to move on.

yes, i've lost something,
but i still got lots of things to treasure and fulfill.

through this, i'll know wad to do when such things happens in the future again.





its not an easy period for me now.
but its just a matter of getting use.
im sure i'll get use leading a single life again.
just like the life i used to lead the past 18 years.

im strong. i gotta be.
cos im the almighty SAMANTHA LIM.

in hope to make myself feel better,
i try to think of the unpleasant moments.

but what i can only remember,
are the happy moments spent together with so much smiles and laughters.

i nv know i could forgive and forget so easily.


and its so tough getting to slp everynight.
and after i finally managed to get myself some slp,
i woke up, having to remind myself of what happened, and what im left with.

because i know how feeling whole feels like.
and so now i feel so lost,
as im only left with half.


what i can only do is sigh, and angry with myself for waking up from the slp.


i wish i can slp forever, and forget everything.

曾经相信
你就是我的唯一
忘记思考生命其他的妒忌

不知不觉深陷爱的浓雾里
竟然发觉我的视线已经渐渐不清晰

于是我就这样茫然失去了你的踪迹
翻开地图竟是过去一对没用的足迹

爱的方向找不到
我在你的心中还剩多少
我的眼泪不重要
只要你记得回来就好

外面世界吵又闹
你要小心照顾自己好
没有了牵手和拥抱
请你千万保重好不好











现在，就算看到最美丽的日出，
我都感觉不到它的美。

sometimes, the characters in the fairytale will get tired too.
they cant be loving all the time,
cant be living happily ever after all the time.
there bound to be problems, quarrels and arguments,
and so.... this time round, the prince and the princess decided to go for a little break.

and therefore,
for now,
there will be no more fairytale.

maybe the prince and princess will be back,
maybe not.

the future is unpredictable.
the pain is unavoidable.

ytd, i finally trimed my hair at the new salon outside my hse.
this is how i looked before the hair cut.
v v untidy, with long fringe!




i snapped off 1.5 inches off my original length,
and shorten my fringe.
much tidier?







i love my hair in these 2 pics!
but today when i woke up,
i couldnt do the same as what the hairdresser did for me ytd.
so depressing.
im gonna looked ugly for at least 1 mth before my hair grow longer.

i actually wanted to cut it short,
but scared that i will regret.

i wanted to perm it,
but scared that my face will look bigger.

i wanted to redye,
but i think DIY is a cheaper alternative.

but im so lazy to DIY.
haha.


tell me im pretty, it will be greatly appreciated.
thanks.

*can sense someone is going to throw eggs at me*

haha.


btw, a nice song for my blog isnt it?

can u believe?
i actually went jogging at 10pm just now, right after my 9pm show.
i dunno y, i just feel like going for a jog,
so i could enjoy the moment of peacefulness from the quiet road.
no cars, no pple, no noise,
just me, my footsteps, my breathing and maybe...insects.

it feels good. cos its been so long since i last jogged.
i wore a bright yellow shirt (even though im not suppose to wear that colour) in case cars happen to drive by and they cant see a girl running.
haha!

i ran and ran, dunno how long, dunno how many rounds,
until my soles detached from my adidas running shoe.
this pair of running shoe has been with me for....5 years?
and they finally broke down today.
of all days, it chose today, when i feel like jogging most.

y?
y are all my things failing, spoiling, disappearing, leaving me?

and i realised,
there must be a problem....
not with the shoes,
but the owner.

dun you agree?

haha.

today is yet another happy day.
sometimes when u are too happy, wad comes to your mind, is only the word "happy".
(or maybe "crazy".)

today, my pretty colleague asked me out for lunch,
and she brought me to this place for vegetarian food.
v v v v cheap!
bee hoon plus 5 dishes cost only $2.50!
omg. and it taste not bad too.

den she treated me to this soyabean icecream from mr bean.
its my 1st time eating it, and its v nice also!
i eat it even though my cramps are like killing me,
but when u are happy, nth can prevent u from being unhappy.

my dear wenna is gonna help me to create a new blogskin.
and i got so many themes in mind, i dunno which 1 to choose.

opps. my supvisor is back, gotta go back to work.



p/s. i realised when im happy, all my post are descriptive. haha.

im a happy girl!
i have no idea why im a happy girl, but im just a happy girl.

last week,
met up with ML to celebrate ling's bday.
we took lots of photos at marina square,
all the stores are closing,
and there were not much shoppers left,
so we start our cam-whoring session!
i've received the pictures from ah wei le, but im lazy to upload.

went to sentosa to get myself tan.
haha! but im sun burnt instead.
now the part that is burnt is very itchy,
i want to scratch,
but because my hands are short,
i cant really reach the exact spot.
help me, anybody?
haha.

met up with weekdays on sat night to sort of celebrate tech chiat bday.
he treated us to Hagan Daz.
we ordered the fondue.
and it was super shiok!
the chocolates really brighten up my day,
they made me feel so high and happy! and thats y im a happy girl!

and yesterday,
it was our graduation ceremony.
i was on my smile the whole day, cos i graduated successfully from SP!
woohoo~ rmbr the times when we have to rush projects and stuffs.
kinda missed them now even though i've graduated.

took lotsa photos in our grad gown (which i think its ugly)
but nevertheless, im happy, cos of the mood and atmosphere,
everyone is happy.

went to return my grad robe immediately with jy and hm,
and we head to KBOX
sang and danced to our heart content.
and guessed wad, i think i "over-dance" cos im having a super achy body.
its only when u are happy, then u can dance to my extent.
haha.

dined at PS, ended up its only the 3 of us,
but nvm, cos we are happy that we had MOS Burger for dinner. (or maybe, that only applies to me cos i suggested it)
managed to rushed back to catch the 9pm show!
so im happy!

i know i got limited vocabs and i keep repeating the word "happy"
go count how many times i written the word "happy"
and u will know how happy i am these few days.
=)


lalalala~ miss wu, i know this is a descriptive post, but because im happy, u shall be happy too.

im meeting up ah wei to shop!
and she said she love me today!
haha. SWEET and HAPPY!

i went to SIM with the intention of enrolling into UoL (University of London),
i waited 1.5 hrs for my queue number,
and went home without applying for UoL,
but instead, with RMIT application form and brochures with me.

i dunno wads stopping me to fill in the application form for RMIT (royal melbourne information technology) Uni,
maybe its the perception that pple have regarding the U.
i have heard several friends commenting that RMIT is not as good as UoL.

but UoL, u study business as a whole, whereas RMIT, u major in Marketing.

in UoL, u wont have hands on experience, and only have 1 exam at the end of the sem, 100% weightage, which means, ur results solely depend on the 1 exam.

whereas RMIT, its more like poly style, u will have grp projects, presentations and assignments, which contribute to part of the total marks.

both University are so different, so y do pple say RMIT is not good?
tell me tell me friends, who told u RMIT is not good?!

anyway, im not intersted in UoL after second tots, and thought abt the risk of having only 1 exam. I dun like the course structure and system and modules also,
and i dun need to attend any bridging course at night.
so, i'll most prolly study RMIT =)
my school will start 2nd July!
1.5 years later, i'll graduate with Bachelor of Business (Marketing). [hopefully]




as im trying to be more independent on myself, the insecurites increases too.
i hate uncertainties. really hate them.
they make me feel so weak and useless.
they make me feel like an idiot.

unknowingingly, its been 49 days after my ahgong's death.
days passes so fast isnt it?
soon, it will be 100 days,
then 1 year.

i still missed him, just that it wasnt as intense as the first few weeks,
but i STILL miss him.

sometimes, its really so easy to forget one's presence when everybody is so used to his/her absence.
i think, this is the saddest thing of all.
people whom u are closely connected and related to,
slowly and unknowingly forgets you.

just watched mars vs venus on channel 8 just now.
its a show with lots of interesting quotes.
i just love this kinda quotes,
cos there are so many sides of meaning to it, depending on your point of view.
and ur point of view can be affected by ur gender, age, character etc etc.
so interesting! and the show is sure funny!
and today, one of the quotes is:

"性是女人为婚姻付出的代价。
婚姻是男人为性付出的代价。”

omg. it really does sets me thinking,
and i cant help to agree,
yet i cannot agree.
so contradicting!

i hate contradictions, but when it comes to this type of things,
i love them,
cos i feel that im filled with different perspective!

i feel so happy when i come across this quote u know,
like, i suddenly grow wisdom!

sorry, i think i really become even retarded after my diarrhea.

talking about the diarrhea,
its the most terrible one i ever had.

u eat nothing,
but u keep shitting and vomitting.
and u feel dehydrated,
and u drink water, one mouthful of water only,
and then the shitting and vomitting process continue.

this month is not a good month for me.
i visited the doc 3 times within a month,
and spent like close to 100 bucks on medication fees already.

i must be healthier!
everyone also must orh!~

my sis took this without me knowing.
im wondering whats running through my mind at that moment.
or maybe, im just enjoying the scenary.

went chinatown OG to get my mothers' day present.

brought her down personally so she can make the right choice.
in the end, she chose one GUESS bag.
I dun really know how to appreciate GUESS bags,
but that was the 1st bag which i think was quite pretty,
but the price was rather pretty too.
Thank god for the 20% discount.

im running in and out of the toilet eversince this morning.

a diarrhea which doesnt hurt in the stomach,
but down there.

=(

i feel so terrible now.

finally watched 200 pounds beauty.
a nice show.
i wonder if i will look pretty and sexy and fabulous if i go for a head to toe cosmetics surgery or not.
but anyways, i have decided.
i will go for a cosmetic sugery
when i earn my first million.
whahaha. hope that day will come before im too old for that.


sometimes, i really feel that im the luckiest person on earth.
and that sometimes is when im living only with one eye opened.

and when i open both of my eyes to look and see this world,
i can only step back, and start envying.

theres no point envying others, yet i dun take any actions to make my life better.
but sometimes, we have to understand that life isnt fair and there are always some things which no matter how hard we try, we will not get what we want.

why are there such people who can lead such good life even without trying?
i can only describe them as disgusting out of pure jealousy.

i ranted all these thoughts to miss wu,
and she says she understands how i feel,
yet dun understand how i feel.
ya, thats because we place different priorities in our life.

but anyways, after talking to her,
i think, i found my qualified half clone,
who is no other than the above mentioned.

well, from now on, to make myself feel that im the luckiest person on earth,
i shall just lead my days with only one eyes open.
haha.

its funny how empty i feel right now,
even if im doing alot of things at one time,
trying to fill my life with work and tuition,
trying to feed my brain and eyes and emotions with romance, thrills and suspense (from storybooks and movies)
i still feel so empty.

my qualified half clones feels the same way too.

i really wonder, wads wrong with our life at this moment.

i dunno wads wrong with me,
but im having a really serious problem getting myself to dreamland every night.
im so tired physically,
but when i lie flat on my bed, preparing for beauty sleep,
my oh-so-special-and-wonderful-and-creative-yet-simple mind starts taking its own exciting journey,
not sparing my tired body.

as if these were not enough,
my stupid maid will talk loudly on the phone,
IN OUR ROOM, WHERE ALL OF US WERE SLEEPING IN.
#$&$*(*^&%$^#

i really dunno why.
i cant seems to remember when was the last time i really slept.
and when i finally can sleep, its almost time for me to get up for work.
:( so depressing.

during the 2 to 3 hours of sleep,
my mind was still very active.
im having weird dreams almost every night,
and the dreams always revolve around the same situation-- im dying.
in my dream, everybody is crying for me,
my dad, my mum, my sis, my bf, my friends.
and the fear of me dying was so strong and real, leaving me to wonder if what im dreaming is actually true or not.

and eversince my grandfather's death,
i feel that my life is so fragile, that i may die anytime.
for example, last sat, while having dinner with jiayi, i choke on my fish and chips.
i coughed and coughed, trying to gasp for air, but i couldnt stop coughing.
the next thing i knew was tearing running down.
i really tot i was dying!
and that jy is still laughing at my tears. hahaha.
i find it funny after that too.

yesterday, i was on my way back to office after lunch,
everyone in front of me were crossing,
and so without thinking much, i crossed the road too.
the next thing i heard was a loud horn,
i turned my head, and saw a van coming my way.
if not for the lady who pushed me forward,
i might not be where i am now.

life, is really scary.

but on the hindsight,
i think im blessed,
to survive all these incidents.

just found another song by janice. i hope you are hearing wad's playing on my blog, cos its really a nice song!

Never Let You Go.

The rain, just never seems to bring
the joy, I feel the same
everlasting pain of my loss remains

My heart, can't seem to learn to part
the hold you left the mark
all that I dreamed of now it seems so stark…

Tho I told myself won't hold my breath
a part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now, but give in…’

If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you
I won't live my life without you

If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and you know,
I'd never let you go’

The way, you left me on the train
I don't know what to say
I remember everything on that day
I can't believe we'd never dance
I just need one more chance
to share the sunset our one last romance

Repeat…’’






baby, i'll never let you go.
i love you.

im feeling so depressed inside me,
feeling that all the unluckiest thing all happening on me.

i've been hearing sad stories from friends around me everyday.
sometimes when i really understand the pain they are going through,
i dunno if i should feel lucky and happy for myself that what happened to them is not happening to me,
or should i feel sad cos i've also experience part of what happened to them, and imagine my outcome to be like them.

i've been so depressed everyday this week.
when im depressed emotionally, i feel so depressed of work.
when i feel depressed of work, i think spending on food to treat myself will make me feel better.
after indulging, i feel even depressed, cos i cant imagine the amount of fats that those food had contributed to my body,
and tadah~ the depressed cycle continues.


i miss my bf so much.
:(

the emptyness.
i dunno why.

feeling a little bit down.
i dunno why.

maybe maybe,
its the process of growing up.

from a carefree student life, to a life whr major decisions have to be made.

its nice to have a heart to heart talk during rainy days.
feels that not only the weather understands me, but also the listening ears.

sometimes, all we need is really so simple,
yet achieving it, involves tears, struggles, luck, money, opportunity, qualifications, etc etc.
y? y do we need so many things to achieve something simple?

so today, i learnt something new.
life can never be simple.

ah. there i go again.

im aging. are you?

i've got so much to say
but whr do i start?

and will you all understand?



心痛要用心药医

since im waiting for colleagues to go for lunch togethr,
i shall do some blogging first.

my job is ok,
learning different things everyday.
this is my 1st time taking up an admin job,
and i somehow felt like im so important in the department im in,
because i help them clear alot of backlog for a more efficient and effective work progress.
without me, my training will like have piles and piles of requests form to file!
im so important to the company!

working at raffles is damn interesting in the morning.
who says only guys can march?
if u were to walk through the raffles underpass,
u can hear the women's heels in unison!
its like marching lor...
haha

and thanks to mandy and louis,
im now a chinese tutor of an angmoh at pasir ris.
jus that the angmoh is a black one.
his father is an african and his mum is a malaysian.
so cool.
when i first reach his house, i thought im gonna teach a malay.
haha.

my colleagues not done yet,
but i shall end here,
incase my supervisor comes back from lunch.

miss me pple!

found this nice song in youtube! i think its a sweet song which makes me wanna fall in love again.



Janice - In Love again
Now Playing:

When you smile
my life becomes a ray of light
sing me a lullaby to sleep at midnight
I'll be hypnotized
when looked into your eyes
turn off the room light
let's spend the night

*Take me to far away
Away to your secret place
Take my tears my fears
Take all my pain for which
I'll repay Someday with a kiss and say
Can't believe that I'm in love
in love again

When the stars don't shine
And when the birds don't fly
And when the flowers cry
And when the rain runs dry
When the violet's red
and when the rose turn blue
Baby I'll still be in love with you

came across one of my primary school friend's blog,
and theres this which i think is quite true.
go try it out!
http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/

You are feeling exhausted, worn out, drained. You feel that far too much is being asked of you but you still want to overcome these difficulties and establish yourself despite the effect such an effort seems to have on you. You are a proud person, assertive most of the time, but at this particular moment you are acting as if you have become resigned to the situation. What you need is some tender loving care - a gentle pat on the head (or maybe a 'kick-up-the backside') and then you'll be raring to go.
(omg. this para is so damn accurately true. im speechless.)

Recently you have been experiencing considerable mental anguish and turmoil. You are bored and discontent. Nothing seems to be going right for you. Even your relationships aren't working out and you don't quite know which way to turn.
(i really think the test is scary, as if it can read my mind and heart. eeyer!)

Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavour but in order to develop your 'inner- self' you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.
(ya. true)

Whatever you strive to do, something always seems to be holding you back. There is no subterfuge in you. You are a clear thinker and all you demand from life, in a relationship, is a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can, together, develop a foundation of trust based on understanding. You are your own person and you demand freedom of thought to follow your own convictions. You have no interest in 'two-timing' and all you seek is sincerity and 'straight-dealing'.

You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences. You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference. Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material. (haha. i only think the last sentence not true as i think im not fit for managerial position and im not decisive.)

not having a job is really REALLY boring.
its really tiring when u have to think so hard to fill ur days up with activities.

i dunno why i have no luck when it comes to job hunting.
and when theres really a lobang,

the pay,

is again,

$6/hr


should i or should i not?


frustrated.

and so,
the funeral ended with over 100 friends and relative going to the crematorium with us,
watching him being slowly pushed to the place where he gonna be cremate is like so terrible
with all of us crying and shouting for ah gong,
its the most heart-wrenching scenario ever.

i dunno how much i've cried during that 5 days of funeral.
i just know that when i start crying, it cant seems to stop.
thanks to mummy,
she cry until so jia lat,
that influenced everyone ard her to cry too.
my sisters and i cried our hearts out and when ye ye saw us, he cried too.
the moment when i really cannot take it is when we are supposed to see ah gong the last time before they cover the coffin.
everyone in sight cried.
i want to remember how he looked before he gets cremated, and i will never get the chance again.

i swear that the laws and rules of the funeral is mean.
the rule says that wife cannot accompany husband to the crematorium.
and so, my ah ma have to stay at the funeral,
watching ah gong being drove away,
crying.
i witness this scene,
and my heart like goes aching like hell.
how could the rule do this?
so wu qing.

thursday ritual was tiring and i got burnt by the joss stick, and now, i have a burnt mark on my fingers.
it was sure painful, but i treat it as a gift that ah gong left it on me.

saw ah gong ashes yesterday.
his bones were white and pinkish,
and the master there told us that ah gong is a kind and good man,
that explains the colour of his bones.

im so happy upon hearing that,
cos he is truely a kind one in my heart!

the funeral had taken a toll on all of us, mentally and physically.
i still feel depressed sometimes,
but i chose not to show it.
cos i know ah gong, wont want me to feel that way.

i really missed my ah gong.

he ended his sufferings on 19 Mar 2007,
after suffering for 25days in the hospital,
he left, peacefully.

forever in my memories,

he will always be a great cook.
the days when he took me for ferry ride when i was young,
the days when he would punish me to stand outside the house when im naughty,
the days when he will bring me to the playground before dinner,
the days when he always say he bought ice cream and we can only eat it if we finish our dinner fast.
the days when he would travel overseas with us.
the moments when he told us about his story about his life with grandma.

i'll miss the delicious popiah that he always make.
i'll miss the egg that he specially cooked for my sis if we dine at his place.
i'll miss his new year yu sheng that he always prepare all by himself for the past new year.

the last thing that he asked me to help him,
was to help him calculate the number of hours he had worked,
to ensure that his employer gave the correct wages to him.

as i watched him getting weaker day by day, suffering in pain,
couldnt eat, couldnt talk,
my heart ached, and i can only hope that his sufferings can end soon.

and today, his sufferings ended.

forever in my memories,
my beloved ah gong.
rest in peace.

my dear desktop decided to die on me on wednesday night.
that explains my sudden disappearance from the internet world.
this got its pros and cons.
pros: im slping early cos i've got nth to do.
cons: its damn boring at home. eversince exams ended, staying at homes means TV and Internet. Now that my second source of entertainment is gone, and the other source of entertainment shows boring programmes, it drives me to bed.

im like stucked in this telemarketing job.
i've worked for like7days already, and i've not closed any sales.
and that jack-look-a-liked who only came for like 3 days managed to close a sale for his project.

i think im just plain suay lar.
he only follow up my ex-colleague's work, and he got the sale.
while me, slog hard through the usual office hours, call and call, but still kanna rejected.
i want COMMISSION.
but no one wanna come to the conference im sellling!

theres another reason y im suay.
i bought my loreal mosturiser from watson last night.
and when i reached home and conference chat with jy and hm,
jy told me metro having 20% sales.
THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THAT SUCH INCIDENT OCCURRED TO ME.
shit my luck.

and just as im planning for a reason to quit my work,
i received another negative news that prevent me from quitting.

well...i guessed this is a sign telling me that i should stay on the boring telemarketing job till this project ends, and hopefully i can close some deals while following up on the emails i sent this week.

chatted with jy and hm and told them how scary i've became.

the reason y im hanging on this boring job is because of money.
maybe its because studies is not my primary focus now,
i tend to think of money every moment.
i have to say that, money is really the only motivation for me to stay in this job, as in i dun find any joy while working. but for the sake of feeding my bank account, i shall hang on. i guessed, if it was last time, i would have probably quit my job in less than 3 days.

im getting used to my pretty much routinised life now.
every morning wake up at 7.20am,
leave house at 8am,
reach office at 9am,
pick up phone and start calling,
look forward to highlight of the morning, which is lunch break at 1pm.
go back to office at exactly 2pm,
start to call till 6pm,
and leave the office at exactly 6pm.

thr goes 1 day unknowingly.

im taking up swimming once again.
im thinking if i should buy a new swim suit for myself,
since i've always been wearing my mum's and i dun think it fitted well....

i guessed, i'll only start thinking about this when my pay comes in.

money money money!

i think i wont be able to login so frequently,

because, my sisters will all be fighting over the use of this old laptop,
and everytime i reach home, they will use, turn by turn,
but it will never get to my turn.

the cons of having too many siblings.

weekdays gg HK next week.
gers, enjoy ur trip there and take good care of yourselves alright?!

i swear real hard that this is the most dissapointing and sad grad ball ever!

i had freaking thick and ugly make-up on,
with the most disgusting messy hair in the world.

and worst of all, it still cost 59 bucks.

how could they do this to me,
when its supposed to be one of the greatest event in every girl's life.

perhaps jiayi is right,
the make-up artist cum hair stylist hates me!

when i looked at the pictures,
i just feel like smashing the monitor,
and if possible,
destroy the evidence of my presence at the grad ball.
i really looked so freaking disgusting extremely UGLY.

im still considering if i should ask huimei to send me the pictures,
but it will only remind me of how disgusting i looked and how the money was spent on the disgusting make-up and hair.
i dun even dare to show my parents the picture we took that night.

IM SO DEPRESSED, COS I FELT THAT I WAS THE UGLIEST GIRL THAT NIGHT.

went to dblo for my very first club experience with my classmates after gradball. (and yes, still with the disgusting make-up on.)
it was fun lar, dancing and stuffs,
but because of my depressed mood, i didnt really enjoy.

nothing could make me better now.
no matter how much consolations i get frm friends, telling me im not ugly,
no matter how much assurance from my boyfriend that im not ugly,
no matter how much i tell myself that im not ugly,

BUT THE FACT IS, IM SO UGLY THAT NIGHT
THAT SUCK IN EVERY PICTURE I TOOK,
AND SPOIL THE WHOLE PICTURE IF ITS A GROUP PHOTO.

if i ever get a chance to erase something out of my life,
this gradball would definitely be one of them.

oh....i guess i will dwell on this for at least 3 months.

if only i could turn back time.....

23rd Feb
relatives gathered at my house.
its also the day when i decided to go on diet for grad ball.
however, it failed terribly cos my mum cooked my favourite curry!
my mum is evil!!! how to resist her curry?!!!



this is my 8 months old baby cousin.
she can never stop moving her small little body even when u are carry her.
therefore, we could not capture a still image of her.
nevertheless, she's so cute!
u smile, she smile.
u never smile, she'll still smile.
she's not afraid of strangers, who also can carry her!
and the best thing is, she got long lashes.
im so jealous!


24th Feb -- weekdays CNY steamboat gathering at amanda's house



i love amanda's house because her living room's wall is PINK.
totally warm and pretty. i love it.
this time round, teck chiat wasnt there, so no camera man, so we didnt managed to take much photos.



another reason y i love her house.
The sheet of mirror infront of her dinning table.

i fall in love with myself sometimes. haha. *shy*


after eating and a little of black jack at her house, we decided to go parkway to chat over a cuppa.
we took a bus from woodlands interchange to parkway.
the whole journey took 1 hour.
zZZZ.
upon reaching parkway,
cxin wanted to deposit some cash.
and beside the cash deposit machine,
there is this.....



and so i decided to try my luck.
slit in my 1 dollar coin.
turn the knob,
hoping to get a beautiful coin pouch.

and i got the green one.



i tot mine was ugly at 1st.
but the more i look at it, the more cute i felt it was.
but all of us, agreed that mine wasnt the ugliest.
the mickey mouse was the ugliest!
haha!


me and my cute green 'dou ji yen' coin pounch.
and oh, i love my pink nails.


2nd March 2007

had our marketing plan competition.
the day finally came.
i think i've sacrificed alot for this competition.
i rejected to job opportunities because of this.

supposed to assemble at 8am in the morning,
but we met at 6.30am in school that day to do some last min preparation.
tats so early lor!
i woke up at 4.30am to change to do my make up and stuffs.
so early!
the worst thing is, the 1st bus was at 6.24am,
so i had to trouble my mum to drive me to the mrt station at 5.40am.
thanks mummy~

although the results was abit dissapponting for us,
but its alright,
cos through this competition,
i've really learnt alot alot from my team mates, my coach and my tutor.
eventhough sometimes this project almost had us all breakdown, drained out of ideas,
i still dreaded the end of this competition,
cos this means that we're really gonna leave SP for real.
This competition marks the end of the project and student life.

my team mates - 21900!

us and Mr Cho, our coach for this competition




The champions~
felt so proud for our class man!





Thank you classmates and lecturers,
for all the wonderful experience and memories in SP.

after the competition,
went to ubi driving centre to supposrt chun hui.
and we received good news from amada and jiamin that they did well for their "A" levels.
feel so happy for them.

went to sakae at changi airport for dinner with them, even though i was super tired.
discuss abit about their upcoming HK trip,
and suggested some recommendations for them.

and when i reached home, i was shocked.
my eyes were super red.
i dunno y this always happen to my eye.
poor eye.


next up will my my gradball at 8th mar.
hopefully, i will be able to make it.