hello everybody. i've been leading my life fruitfully, how about u?
everyday, i go to work, leaving at 5.30pm sharp.
and then followed by my after-work activities!
oh. im so loving it.





tues was my youngest sis bday. after the birthday dinner, we went IKea!
daddy bought a full-length mirror for us. u Know, mirror and girls are always best friends.
he bought a extended round mirror so i could sit down on the table to make-up instead of standing by my wardrobe cardboard everyday.

presenting to you, my lovely sisters.
they may be damn irritating at times, but i tell you, they are sweet as well.
its good to have sisters!
(so i can bully them! wahahah)






Wed i met up with my long lost friend. --NG XIN HUI
the most hilarious thing i heard of the week, was her finger and fish bone story.
we went Far east to shop and had Sakae for dinner.
happy!




i think both of us looked alike. dun you think so?








While shopping at Heeren, we saw this damn pretty dress!
we love it so much, and we want it V V V much.




guess how much it cost?
$109!!!

but its on 15% discount!

anybody wanna get this for me?

pls pls!!! *puppy eyes*





Thurs, had dinner and shopped with wen, man and wei!
had our budget dinner at Long Johns.
and i tell you,
the service crew of Marina Square de LJS have a very serious attitude problem.
they are lucky that Lao Niang's mood is good that day,
if not....
(imagine the consequence yourself)

















Without these 3 ladies above, i guess i wont be as happy today.
Love you girls! Muacks.


Sat! finally meet up with princesses in the morning!
i feel so pretty yesterday!





i feel like a princess. haha. I know its very very BHB but i keep asking my parents,
how can they give birth to such a pretty daughter.
wahaha.
*sense danger around me*








we took neoprints!
and so far, this is the prettiest neoprint we've ever took!
so happy.
and because Miss Wu only had this 2 pictures up,
so theres only these 2.
haha.










everybody deserves a chance,
just like how im given an opportunity sometimes.

and hence, im giving it a try.
i dunno how the outcome will be like,
i just dun wan to regret.

possibilities of feeling heartbreak vs regrets,

i choose heartbreak.

朋友，

我不知道
自己的心还会痛多久。

我不知道
以后还会不会这样的去相信。

我只知道，
我会学着更爱惜自己，
把每一天都活出精彩来。

时间会把伤痕冲淡，
一切都会在时间的旅程，
成为美丽的回忆。

我们已是彼此的旁观者，
我会好好地过我的生活，
你也一定要。

ok. this post will be a brief description of what is happening.

22nd May 2007.
graduation ceremony.
i looked abit retarded in here, so i expect the real photo which will be sent to my house to be an ugly one. im not looking at the camera at all! and i looked so tired.
but ah. wadever. at least i've graduated.



as i haven receive any photos from my dear chua hui mei, so pictures of the k box session and some group grad photo will be updated later.

30th May 2007

went shopping with wen and wei to shop for clubbing clothes.
the below photo is photoshopped cos the real foto, i have serious heavy eyebags which is disgusting.
i shall not cry so much in the future so i wont have any more serious eyebags!



after shopping, went mandy's hse to doll up ourselves for the night.
and 3 women doing make-up and changing really can create havoc!

cam-whoring session before stepping out of the house!






i put on eyeliner and fake lashes with thick make-up.
i feel so great being pretty and beautiful! *whistle*
and for the 1st time, i wore sleeveless out, showing off my flabby arms.
but i dun really care much anymore,
cos i feel so pretty and beautiful that night.

finally managed to hail a cab and we headed to.....



it was so damn crowded. we queued for 2 hrs before gg in!
and danced till they close shop!
shiok man! sweat alot! danced alot! but drank a little only.
dance and sweat till my hair really messy!

actually clubbing is a very tiring activity sia!
we went home with sore feet and aching body!
and when i remove my make-up,
the whole cotton wool turns black! serious!
imagine the amount of impurities that are present in the surrounding air inside the club.

but nevertheless, to enjoy clubbing, u must club with the right pple.
and i really enjoyed myself that night, despite my lousy mood.

and so....presenting you the right pple to club with!

Us, with sharon, terrence and lex. all shun wei de friends!






hmm....recently, chatted with tobbie, and he sent me smth.





tears speak a thousand words.

i dunno how much i've cried for the past few days.
they must be equivalent to thousand millions of words.

but only through this kinda problems,
i know that im loved by so many people.

my parents, my sisters, mL, weekdays, jiayi, huimei
they were all so worried for me.

dont worry guys. i wont do anything silly.

i spent my night at mandy's hse last night with shun wei.
we chatted and relate each other's experience.
and i really really sit down and think through thoroughly.

sometimes, somethings are not meant to be.
and we really have to move on.

yes, i've lost something,
but i still got lots of things to treasure and fulfill.

through this, i'll know wad to do when such things happens in the future again.





its not an easy period for me now.
but its just a matter of getting use.
im sure i'll get use leading a single life again.
just like the life i used to lead the past 18 years.

im strong. i gotta be.
cos im the almighty SAMANTHA LIM.

in hope to make myself feel better,
i try to think of the unpleasant moments.

but what i can only remember,
are the happy moments spent together with so much smiles and laughters.

i nv know i could forgive and forget so easily.


and its so tough getting to slp everynight.
and after i finally managed to get myself some slp,
i woke up, having to remind myself of what happened, and what im left with.

because i know how feeling whole feels like.
and so now i feel so lost,
as im only left with half.


what i can only do is sigh, and angry with myself for waking up from the slp.


i wish i can slp forever, and forget everything.

曾经相信
你就是我的唯一
忘记思考生命其他的妒忌

不知不觉深陷爱的浓雾里
竟然发觉我的视线已经渐渐不清晰

于是我就这样茫然失去了你的踪迹
翻开地图竟是过去一对没用的足迹

爱的方向找不到
我在你的心中还剩多少
我的眼泪不重要
只要你记得回来就好

外面世界吵又闹
你要小心照顾自己好
没有了牵手和拥抱
请你千万保重好不好











现在，就算看到最美丽的日出，
我都感觉不到它的美。

sometimes, the characters in the fairytale will get tired too.
they cant be loving all the time,
cant be living happily ever after all the time.
there bound to be problems, quarrels and arguments,
and so.... this time round, the prince and the princess decided to go for a little break.

and therefore,
for now,
there will be no more fairytale.

maybe the prince and princess will be back,
maybe not.

the future is unpredictable.
the pain is unavoidable.

ytd, i finally trimed my hair at the new salon outside my hse.
this is how i looked before the hair cut.
v v untidy, with long fringe!




i snapped off 1.5 inches off my original length,
and shorten my fringe.
much tidier?







i love my hair in these 2 pics!
but today when i woke up,
i couldnt do the same as what the hairdresser did for me ytd.
so depressing.
im gonna looked ugly for at least 1 mth before my hair grow longer.

i actually wanted to cut it short,
but scared that i will regret.

i wanted to perm it,
but scared that my face will look bigger.

i wanted to redye,
but i think DIY is a cheaper alternative.

but im so lazy to DIY.
haha.


tell me im pretty, it will be greatly appreciated.
thanks.

*can sense someone is going to throw eggs at me*

haha.


btw, a nice song for my blog isnt it?

can u believe?
i actually went jogging at 10pm just now, right after my 9pm show.
i dunno y, i just feel like going for a jog,
so i could enjoy the moment of peacefulness from the quiet road.
no cars, no pple, no noise,
just me, my footsteps, my breathing and maybe...insects.

it feels good. cos its been so long since i last jogged.
i wore a bright yellow shirt (even though im not suppose to wear that colour) in case cars happen to drive by and they cant see a girl running.
haha!

i ran and ran, dunno how long, dunno how many rounds,
until my soles detached from my adidas running shoe.
this pair of running shoe has been with me for....5 years?
and they finally broke down today.
of all days, it chose today, when i feel like jogging most.

y?
y are all my things failing, spoiling, disappearing, leaving me?

and i realised,
there must be a problem....
not with the shoes,
but the owner.

dun you agree?

haha.

today is yet another happy day.
sometimes when u are too happy, wad comes to your mind, is only the word "happy".
(or maybe "crazy".)

today, my pretty colleague asked me out for lunch,
and she brought me to this place for vegetarian food.
v v v v cheap!
bee hoon plus 5 dishes cost only $2.50!
omg. and it taste not bad too.

den she treated me to this soyabean icecream from mr bean.
its my 1st time eating it, and its v nice also!
i eat it even though my cramps are like killing me,
but when u are happy, nth can prevent u from being unhappy.

my dear wenna is gonna help me to create a new blogskin.
and i got so many themes in mind, i dunno which 1 to choose.

opps. my supvisor is back, gotta go back to work.



p/s. i realised when im happy, all my post are descriptive. haha.

im a happy girl!
i have no idea why im a happy girl, but im just a happy girl.

last week,
met up with ML to celebrate ling's bday.
we took lots of photos at marina square,
all the stores are closing,
and there were not much shoppers left,
so we start our cam-whoring session!
i've received the pictures from ah wei le, but im lazy to upload.

went to sentosa to get myself tan.
haha! but im sun burnt instead.
now the part that is burnt is very itchy,
i want to scratch,
but because my hands are short,
i cant really reach the exact spot.
help me, anybody?
haha.

met up with weekdays on sat night to sort of celebrate tech chiat bday.
he treated us to Hagan Daz.
we ordered the fondue.
and it was super shiok!
the chocolates really brighten up my day,
they made me feel so high and happy! and thats y im a happy girl!

and yesterday,
it was our graduation ceremony.
i was on my smile the whole day, cos i graduated successfully from SP!
woohoo~ rmbr the times when we have to rush projects and stuffs.
kinda missed them now even though i've graduated.

took lotsa photos in our grad gown (which i think its ugly)
but nevertheless, im happy, cos of the mood and atmosphere,
everyone is happy.

went to return my grad robe immediately with jy and hm,
and we head to KBOX
sang and danced to our heart content.
and guessed wad, i think i "over-dance" cos im having a super achy body.
its only when u are happy, then u can dance to my extent.
haha.

dined at PS, ended up its only the 3 of us,
but nvm, cos we are happy that we had MOS Burger for dinner. (or maybe, that only applies to me cos i suggested it)
managed to rushed back to catch the 9pm show!
so im happy!

i know i got limited vocabs and i keep repeating the word "happy"
go count how many times i written the word "happy"
and u will know how happy i am these few days.
=)


lalalala~ miss wu, i know this is a descriptive post, but because im happy, u shall be happy too.

im meeting up ah wei to shop!
and she said she love me today!
haha. SWEET and HAPPY!

i went to SIM with the intention of enrolling into UoL (University of London),
i waited 1.5 hrs for my queue number,
and went home without applying for UoL,
but instead, with RMIT application form and brochures with me.

i dunno wads stopping me to fill in the application form for RMIT (royal melbourne information technology) Uni,
maybe its the perception that pple have regarding the U.
i have heard several friends commenting that RMIT is not as good as UoL.

but UoL, u study business as a whole, whereas RMIT, u major in Marketing.

in UoL, u wont have hands on experience, and only have 1 exam at the end of the sem, 100% weightage, which means, ur results solely depend on the 1 exam.

whereas RMIT, its more like poly style, u will have grp projects, presentations and assignments, which contribute to part of the total marks.

both University are so different, so y do pple say RMIT is not good?
tell me tell me friends, who told u RMIT is not good?!

anyway, im not intersted in UoL after second tots, and thought abt the risk of having only 1 exam. I dun like the course structure and system and modules also,
and i dun need to attend any bridging course at night.
so, i'll most prolly study RMIT =)
my school will start 2nd July!
1.5 years later, i'll graduate with Bachelor of Business (Marketing). [hopefully]




as im trying to be more independent on myself, the insecurites increases too.
i hate uncertainties. really hate them.
they make me feel so weak and useless.
they make me feel like an idiot.

unknowingingly, its been 49 days after my ahgong's death.
days passes so fast isnt it?
soon, it will be 100 days,
then 1 year.

i still missed him, just that it wasnt as intense as the first few weeks,
but i STILL miss him.

sometimes, its really so easy to forget one's presence when everybody is so used to his/her absence.
i think, this is the saddest thing of all.
people whom u are closely connected and related to,
slowly and unknowingly forgets you.

just watched mars vs venus on channel 8 just now.
its a show with lots of interesting quotes.
i just love this kinda quotes,
cos there are so many sides of meaning to it, depending on your point of view.
and ur point of view can be affected by ur gender, age, character etc etc.
so interesting! and the show is sure funny!
and today, one of the quotes is:

"性是女人为婚姻付出的代价。
婚姻是男人为性付出的代价。”

omg. it really does sets me thinking,
and i cant help to agree,
yet i cannot agree.
so contradicting!

i hate contradictions, but when it comes to this type of things,
i love them,
cos i feel that im filled with different perspective!

i feel so happy when i come across this quote u know,
like, i suddenly grow wisdom!

sorry, i think i really become even retarded after my diarrhea.

talking about the diarrhea,
its the most terrible one i ever had.

u eat nothing,
but u keep shitting and vomitting.
and u feel dehydrated,
and u drink water, one mouthful of water only,
and then the shitting and vomitting process continue.

this month is not a good month for me.
i visited the doc 3 times within a month,
and spent like close to 100 bucks on medication fees already.

i must be healthier!
everyone also must orh!~

my sis took this without me knowing.
im wondering whats running through my mind at that moment.
or maybe, im just enjoying the scenary.

went chinatown OG to get my mothers' day present.

brought her down personally so she can make the right choice.
in the end, she chose one GUESS bag.
I dun really know how to appreciate GUESS bags,
but that was the 1st bag which i think was quite pretty,
but the price was rather pretty too.
Thank god for the 20% discount.

im running in and out of the toilet eversince this morning.

a diarrhea which doesnt hurt in the stomach,
but down there.

=(

i feel so terrible now.

finally watched 200 pounds beauty.
a nice show.
i wonder if i will look pretty and sexy and fabulous if i go for a head to toe cosmetics surgery or not.
but anyways, i have decided.
i will go for a cosmetic sugery
when i earn my first million.
whahaha. hope that day will come before im too old for that.


sometimes, i really feel that im the luckiest person on earth.
and that sometimes is when im living only with one eye opened.

and when i open both of my eyes to look and see this world,
i can only step back, and start envying.

theres no point envying others, yet i dun take any actions to make my life better.
but sometimes, we have to understand that life isnt fair and there are always some things which no matter how hard we try, we will not get what we want.

why are there such people who can lead such good life even without trying?
i can only describe them as disgusting out of pure jealousy.

i ranted all these thoughts to miss wu,
and she says she understands how i feel,
yet dun understand how i feel.
ya, thats because we place different priorities in our life.

but anyways, after talking to her,
i think, i found my qualified half clone,
who is no other than the above mentioned.

well, from now on, to make myself feel that im the luckiest person on earth,
i shall just lead my days with only one eyes open.
haha.

its funny how empty i feel right now,
even if im doing alot of things at one time,
trying to fill my life with work and tuition,
trying to feed my brain and eyes and emotions with romance, thrills and suspense (from storybooks and movies)
i still feel so empty.

my qualified half clones feels the same way too.

i really wonder, wads wrong with our life at this moment.

i dunno wads wrong with me,
but im having a really serious problem getting myself to dreamland every night.
im so tired physically,
but when i lie flat on my bed, preparing for beauty sleep,
my oh-so-special-and-wonderful-and-creative-yet-simple mind starts taking its own exciting journey,
not sparing my tired body.

as if these were not enough,
my stupid maid will talk loudly on the phone,
IN OUR ROOM, WHERE ALL OF US WERE SLEEPING IN.
#$&$*(*^&%$^#

i really dunno why.
i cant seems to remember when was the last time i really slept.
and when i finally can sleep, its almost time for me to get up for work.
:( so depressing.

during the 2 to 3 hours of sleep,
my mind was still very active.
im having weird dreams almost every night,
and the dreams always revolve around the same situation-- im dying.
in my dream, everybody is crying for me,
my dad, my mum, my sis, my bf, my friends.
and the fear of me dying was so strong and real, leaving me to wonder if what im dreaming is actually true or not.

and eversince my grandfather's death,
i feel that my life is so fragile, that i may die anytime.
for example, last sat, while having dinner with jiayi, i choke on my fish and chips.
i coughed and coughed, trying to gasp for air, but i couldnt stop coughing.
the next thing i knew was tearing running down.
i really tot i was dying!
and that jy is still laughing at my tears. hahaha.
i find it funny after that too.

yesterday, i was on my way back to office after lunch,
everyone in front of me were crossing,
and so without thinking much, i crossed the road too.
the next thing i heard was a loud horn,
i turned my head, and saw a van coming my way.
if not for the lady who pushed me forward,
i might not be where i am now.

life, is really scary.

but on the hindsight,
i think im blessed,
to survive all these incidents.

just found another song by janice. i hope you are hearing wad's playing on my blog, cos its really a nice song!

Never Let You Go.

The rain, just never seems to bring
the joy, I feel the same
everlasting pain of my loss remains

My heart, can't seem to learn to part
the hold you left the mark
all that I dreamed of now it seems so stark…

Tho I told myself won't hold my breath
a part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now, but give in…’

If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you
I won't live my life without you

If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and you know,
I'd never let you go’

The way, you left me on the train
I don't know what to say
I remember everything on that day
I can't believe we'd never dance
I just need one more chance
to share the sunset our one last romance

Repeat…’’






baby, i'll never let you go.
i love you.

im feeling so depressed inside me,
feeling that all the unluckiest thing all happening on me.

i've been hearing sad stories from friends around me everyday.
sometimes when i really understand the pain they are going through,
i dunno if i should feel lucky and happy for myself that what happened to them is not happening to me,
or should i feel sad cos i've also experience part of what happened to them, and imagine my outcome to be like them.

i've been so depressed everyday this week.
when im depressed emotionally, i feel so depressed of work.
when i feel depressed of work, i think spending on food to treat myself will make me feel better.
after indulging, i feel even depressed, cos i cant imagine the amount of fats that those food had contributed to my body,
and tadah~ the depressed cycle continues.


i miss my bf so much.
:(

the emptyness.
i dunno why.

feeling a little bit down.
i dunno why.

maybe maybe,
its the process of growing up.

from a carefree student life, to a life whr major decisions have to be made.

its nice to have a heart to heart talk during rainy days.
feels that not only the weather understands me, but also the listening ears.

sometimes, all we need is really so simple,
yet achieving it, involves tears, struggles, luck, money, opportunity, qualifications, etc etc.
y? y do we need so many things to achieve something simple?

so today, i learnt something new.
life can never be simple.

ah. there i go again.

im aging. are you?

i've got so much to say
but whr do i start?

and will you all understand?



心痛要用心药医

since im waiting for colleagues to go for lunch togethr,
i shall do some blogging first.

my job is ok,
learning different things everyday.
this is my 1st time taking up an admin job,
and i somehow felt like im so important in the department im in,
because i help them clear alot of backlog for a more efficient and effective work progress.
without me, my training will like have piles and piles of requests form to file!
im so important to the company!

working at raffles is damn interesting in the morning.
who says only guys can march?
if u were to walk through the raffles underpass,
u can hear the women's heels in unison!
its like marching lor...
haha

and thanks to mandy and louis,
im now a chinese tutor of an angmoh at pasir ris.
jus that the angmoh is a black one.
his father is an african and his mum is a malaysian.
so cool.
when i first reach his house, i thought im gonna teach a malay.
haha.

my colleagues not done yet,
but i shall end here,
incase my supervisor comes back from lunch.

miss me pple!