给你的第二封信

今天，我再回家的路上，收到了一则简讯。

不知道为什么，我仿佛了解自己多一些些。


我努力地去爱，

但一切仿佛还是停在原地。

到底是为什么呢？


总是为自己找借口，

很不负责任地把错推到时间的身上。

可是，想想看，

身旁有谁不是在和时间赛跑的呢？


我一直都是在那接受别人的爱，

也没有特别地去回报。

心里的惭愧, 也不知道如何去解释

只好用我的微笑来掩饰。


后来，我今天终于领悟到

原来，从以前到现在。。。

我根本不懂得怎么爱一个人。


刹那间，

我觉得，爱上一个不懂得去爱人的女生。。。

真的好辛苦哦。


这时候，我只想对你说。。。

“对不起”

You Are 20% Boyish and 80% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium.In general, you prefer to have only one love interest.But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long!There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is medium.You probably have had a couple significant loves.And you may have even had your heart broken.But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people. Dominance: Your dominance is low.This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced.You know a relationship is not about getting your way.And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is medium.You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love...But you've definitely been burned enough to know better.You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist. Independence: Your independence is high.You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love.Having your own life is very important for you...Even more important than having a relationship.

The Five Variable Love Test

i think my mind is bursting.

im having 4 more papers next week.

out of the 4, 3 of them are all theories.

muz memorise until siao.

omg.

kill me can?

guys, try this out for mi!

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=y2k_cinderalla

http://kevan.org/johari?name=y2k_cinderalla

thanks!

Above is my posting for my itp!!!
its at UBI ave 1
and xin's at UBI ave 3
we are like so near to each other.....!!!!
haha.
but allowance $450 nia
so pathetic!
pple if u free, come ubi find mi ok?
haha.

the company very ulu sia, i nv hear b4 de.....
got to check out their website and they are doing IT software product.
omg.....
i wonder wad am i gonna do there....
this is so exciting!

*think i shall buy bus concession for that period of time.

Happy Birthday to


Wenna Poon.


19 years old only,

stop behaving like a weird auntie.

haha.

anyway, i love u!!


so many kisses and hugs here and there today.
so loved,
so blissfully blissed.
=)

If love makes the world go round........


then February will be a time when people go dizzy.





Happy Valentine's Day.

this was wad made mi so touched and loved when im so stressed while rushing a dreadful report.

i love my frens so so so much!

argh.....my eye bags! i cant stand it! i need sleep!!!!

8 Feb 2006. marks a new chapter of my life.
a colourful life filled with love.
cheers!

click for larger view~

my 1st warning letter of yr 2 sem 2.

cool man~

lucky this is the last week of yr 2.

pls keep this secret from my mum.

if not, i will hold u responsible for the consequences.

thanks

:)

been very busy eversince i come back from shanghai.
haha.
juz finished our PSCM presentation and im really glad that everything turn out real fine.
had alot of new year gathering for this weekend.
and of cos, lots of angpaos!!!

went changi rise on fri nite after work to have reunion dinner with distant relatives.
but ard 11 plus, i went to my grandpa bedroom and i fell asleep leaving the guests outside gambling.

sat, i went TM to watch i not stupid too.
it was a nice show.
really.
i cried cos its very touching towards the end.
it juz feel so good to be able to cry isnt it?
go watch go watch!
highly recommended by mi!

after the movie, chiong down to amanda's house for steamboat and stayed overnight.
had our girly girly tok. *secret*
but wadever decisions my girls make, i'll always be behind them!
cheers!

den today, went str. to woodlands from admiralty.
met up with hx,hm,jy,jw.tobs.qj and pauline to bai nian.
1st station : hui mei house.
2nd station : mr seetoh's house.
3rd station: my house.
4th station : back to paya lebar to accompany jy to shop for some clothes.

mr seetoh house is very big! i like....*envy*

Picture taken @ mr seetoh's hse:




tml itp de placement result will be out!!!
*cross my fingers*
hope i will be posted to somewhere convenient!

10 feb is coming soon!
i miss my mLsaRs so much.
i cant wait for 10 feb!


if nth goes wrong.....
den i think.....things will turn out the positive way.

im back, safe and sound.
enjoyed myself.
did alot of things that i'd nv done b4.
tried doing business in a toilet without door and u can c the butt of everyone else.
tried lighting a fire cracker and ran for ur life after that?
haha. i'd tried those at shanghai, suzhou and hang zhou.
been so long eversince i last had regular meals.
and i think if i continue to have regular meals at china, i will grow fat without fail cos their food is damn so oily and salty.
the hotel sux.
the breakfast the hotel fast oso sux.
the motorists sux.
and people smoke almost anywhere and everywhere including air-con places such as hotels and airport.
try sleeping in a room which it stinks like hell, with the smell of tabacco.
omg. can die.
but im still alive.
the zebra crossings at china is for show only cos the motorist seems not to see the zebra crossing.
think i'll most prob die from car accident if i were to live in china.
people spit anywhere, so if u go china, u must watch ur steps.
tok so much on the bad points, but i still say i enjoyed myself. so contradicting.
i love to go to their historical places where the tour guide will start telling u stories which happen so long ago and the effects and aftermath of what had happened in the past affects their daily lifes now.
so interesting isnt it?





































.
my heart feels so pain now.
and when u cant cry,
sorrow builds up and pile on top of the pain.

someone, pls make mi cry.

bye everybody.
will be back on the 1st.

enjoy ur chinese new year!
muacks

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of youI am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

this song is like stuck in my mind for the whole day.
hmm....
think of it, when was the last time u've learnt the hard way because of somebody?
and i particularly like this paragraph in this song:
"I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with"

have u ever felt like this before?
when u got so hurt that you almost felt that u cant breath.
that u can feel nth because ur heart went numb.
and then, u totally shut off to ur surroundings.
u can only feel the numbness of ur heart slowly wear off and den u start to feel them tear and shatter into pieces.
u tried very hard to put on a smile and say "im fine"
den ur eyes begin to have that slight burning sensation.
theres a lump in ur throat that seems very eager to push its way up and u try very hard to push it back down.
and u finally gave in to everything, den tears stream down.

its a very terrible feeling.
i really dunno wad is worse than having this type of feeling.
i went through it twice and to be frank,
its so so so frightening that i think it somehow changed mi emotionally.

somehow, memories of how i got hurt kept coming back to mi when i listen to this song.

perhaps this is one of the reason i dun dare to take a step out.
the fear seems to have grown in mi unknowingly.
its not because of the pain.
its juz because whenever i think of it, it will remind mi how i felt when im hurt and i cannot find anything to forgive the reason that caused mi to be in that state at the point of time.

i think u guys wun know wad im trying to bring across....
wad i really want to say is....
a shattered heart will always be a shattered heart,
no matter wad u do to it,
u cant change the fact that its once shattered.


shall update on my school's life ba.
handed up the 2 killer reports on friday.
this week was really a killer week.
everyday stay in sch till very late and stay awake till wee hours to complete the stupid reports.
supposed to hand up the report at 5pm,
but we cant finish by 5, so handed up at 6pm.
so now im only left with 2 more report(ecm) which i think i wun do much on it since im going to shanghai and it will be due immediately after cny holiday.
3 more presentations to go.
and den followed by exam.
wow! den my attachment period will start!

went to help out for the open house at marketing booth with hx.
so many pple, see le i immediately can feel the dizzy spell coming.
the new diploma - diploma in tourism and resort management is so hot! so many pple asked abt this course!
but the intake is only 80 students nia.
high demand, low supply. haha

den went jp with hx and hm to meet jy, celine, jw and huat for lunch.
had delifrance that i'd craved since 3 days ago.
haha.
after that did some retail theraphy with my parents!
i didnt shop for so long le lor!

and shit! im suppose to finish my ecommerce research and send it to jy by tonight but i haven done anything.

so i should stop here.

most prob wun be blogging again until i return frm shanghai.
take care pple,
dun miss mi too much
and enjoy ur cny!

its quite obvious that i didnt prepare well for today's presentation isnt it?

stammering and repeating what i'd said,

looking at my script for next slide's information.

oOO....prolly due to lack of sleep.
ahh....excuses!

haha.

wadever.

its over!

1 presentation down.

had 36 hours of project marathon over at tobbie's house last weekend.

can kill.

had less than 10 hours of sleep for the past 2 days


and my right hand is "disfigured".

thanks to the mosquitoes at tobbie's hse.

zZZ. i should sleep now.

nites!

when u have 7 projects on hand which due within this 2 weeks......






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scroll down for answer.
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C-R-A-Z-Y


like what my uccd tutor always say.....
do till i BLEED.

ciaoz.
to all my frens,
take care!

i really dunno how m i going to survive thru this semester.

everything is in a mess.

everything seems to move on with a speed of 150km/h

i really dunno how i actually spent my day.

i juz know, i wake up, go to sch, sometimes do project, go home, sleep.

theres no meaning in whatever i do.

i do my project so i can meet datelines.

and when datelines are approaching, i start to panick, cos i haven really been doing my project
research.

so what have i been doing when i claimed that im busy over projects?

haha.


i hate it when the direction is so ambiguous,

and yet u muz continue to think and brainstorm for suggestions and ideas.

i hate it when i muz tolerate unnecessary nonsense when it wasnt exactly my fault in the 1st
place.

i hate it when it starts to rain when im all ready to revise for my test.

i hate it when im really desperate and nobody wanna help.

i hate it when i volunteer for stupid and lousy job when no one wanna do it.

all in all,

i hate what is going on in my life now.

i juz want to be like a spoilt brat for now,

throwing my tantrums around like nobody business.















when my heart is screaming loudly, who can actually hear mi?

once again, a very happy new year to all!

went to shears bridge to watch fireworks with kenny, zanyan,zhenwen,changyi,chinhwa,amanda,xin and jia last nite!

so cool!

it was like i can touch the fireworks if i stretch my hands!!!

but abit scary also.

cos the fireworks sound goes like "bom bom bom!!!" and can really feel the vibrations!

im was like so high lor!

after that, walked to bugis to take train home.

den after discussion, we decided not to go home.

so went to my grandparents house at changi rise.

played black jack
and i lose $$
its all with lin jia min, that lucky gal.

yawn, so tired.
think im gonna slp now.

tagged

Rules of the game: Post 5 Weird and Random facts about yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "You are tagged" in their blog and tell them to read yours.

1. i do thing according to my mood. some people says its attitute. but, who cares. when i really dun have the mood, it will be meaningless to continue to do the things im supposed to do.in other words, im unpredictable.

2. i dunno how to express myself well. sometimes its the pride, sometimes its my lousy communicating skills.

3. im good at concealing my feelings. i dun show my feelings unless necessary.

4. i love potatoes and sunny-side-up! really love them. and if eating fastfood, i'll finish up my fries 1st den continue with the maincourse.

5. i always have weird dreams. and i mean weird. sometimes ridiculous oso. and my dreams mostly end up with me crying at a beach that i always dream abt.

next 5 pple : michelle, maggie, huixian,xin,jiamin