exams ended officially last thurs.
i really dont want to think abt them anymore,
but the mind and heart cant help to worry for 4th june, where we will know abt the damn horrendous results.

exams is all abt the cyclical process of eating, studying, slping, viwawa-ing.
always chasing against my exam schedule to make sure i can finish the syllabus on time.
my newly bought pilot ball point pen's ink was full b4 the first paper of the exam.
and after my last paper, it looks like its gonna go dry any moment.
thats how much we got to write for our papers. (and damn it, i dont understand why i always finish my paper on the dot, leaving me with no time to check through)

managed to squeeze out some time for dating. watched some perveted thriller show, lunched at carls junior and chilled at tcc. thats the only thing i can remember.
orange-flavoured clorets, meiji yogurt, fruits, hershey chocs, digestive biscuit, coffee is my survival kit for keeping myself awake and focus during revision. =)

boyfriend finally pop-ed, just one day b4 my last paper.
nonetheless, i was still there at home team academy to witness the passing out parade with his mother. its almost six months, but it feels like he just enlisted not long ago.

yesterday, it was teck chiat and ling's 21st bday celebration at ECP.

luckily both were held at ECP, makes it easier for me to attend both.

Anyway, it was mL very first time pitching tent (8 men tent!) at ECP. oOO....i missed camping days. but somehow, plans got screwed out due to heavy rain at 4 plus in the morning. Lucky we have SASA with us, if not we will be like ants on hot pans.

i'll let pictures do the talking when i received them.

meanwhile, let me wish all mothers a happy mothers' day!

Mummy, i love you.
just hope you'll forever be healthy and happy.
muacks.

明知道自己没有资格难过，


但此刻的心情，真是糟透了。









为什么得到的安慰和肯定，还是让它隐隐作痛？
我。。。。。真的可以吗？

its only the first paper, and there goes all my motivation.

really need to prepare myself, so i wont get heart attack when i receive my results on 4th june, and also that i have to repeat one more year of BUSINESS FRAMEWORK, cos i FAILED this module miserably.

DAMNED IT.


-nuff said.-

"why?" you may ask.

thats because you don't know me enough.








stress accumulating. PMS. highly dangerous to irritate and aggitate me now. I BITE. SO STAY AWAY FROM ME.

For the past 1 month, i've been seeing them more than the number of times i get to see my family and my boyfriend.

We braved through all the projects together.
what i've learnt is..... THEY ARE CRAZY!

nonetheless, projects would be super boring and tough w/o them!

we're working on service quality project.

beware of the latest terrorist on the lose.

trying v hard to irritate sulwyn. look at her disgusted expression. super funny.

going for our long -craved sakae lunch!

boss ducky with her secretary cynthia.

follwing pictures were taken on the actual presentation day for service quality.
we crazily cam-whore while waiting for WAN WAN to finish his script and lunch.

we are crazy.

dont ask me why i pose in that way.

duck look as if joanne is really punching her

She is so strong can!!! she manged to carry the heavy me up! check out my fearful expression trying hard to smile.

the kungfu girls

both trying to act innocent

finally handed up all projects.

been snacking like crazy when tonning over their house.

cant imagine the amount of weight that i'll gain.

the end of projects means its time to chiong exams liao.

till then~

Quoted from http://www.mycasserole.net/

"A few days ago, daddy caught the boy playing with his willy. Usually, the boy would have been reprimanded. However, this time, daddy just told him nicely that the act isn’t hygienic. He didn’t raise his voice at the boy for fear of being shunned again, like what happened weeks ago, when he chided the boy for being playful with his eyes.

And I thought it is funny that as parents, we actually have to fear losing our child’s love, which is not unlike a child’s anxiety of losing his parents’ approval. And it’s precisely this fear that drives parents to spare the rod and spoil the child or the kid to be less communicative or tell white lies.

Come to think of it, such a fear extends to most of our relationships. The fear of losing the love of the other drives us to accept shortcomings, overlook misbehaviors and ignore glaring misdeeds.

Love is such a double-edged sword!"

yes, its the fear of losing.

a brand new samantha says HI


remember i mentioned abt the wedding i attended 2 weeks ago?

us and mummy


All of us


stop telling me my sis is pretty.
i'll get jealous!
haha!
im pretty also okay!


the people i see EVERYDAY.
and i mean EVERYDAY. from mon to sun!



jo and duck


cyn and me


stop telling me i got fat face. cos im still pretty!
haha

cynthia is very sweet! she bought this for me and gave it to me in school when im sick~


oOOO.... im still happy to receive it even though she bought another bottle for WANWAN also! (not specially for me) hahaha. but, nvm, i still love cynthia, that crappy friend who always hit me on my arms. pain you know!


went for new zealand icecream at ECP with bf 2 weeks ago.


and we promised to be back for cycling.
and so, on good friday, we last minute decided to go ECP again to cycle.




thanks to the scorching sun. im burnt! and the funny part is, only my arms are burnt! so lucky my face is not burnt lar.


pain~~~


and im sick again.
the irritating running nose and sore throat.
its like forever there de leh!
super sian u know!

these few days, i've been reflecting so much on myself.
after doing so,
i feel that i failed almost all the roles that i played in my life.

i failed my role as a daughter.
didn't really do much to help my dad.
didn't really do much to help my mum.
have been relying so much on the maid.

i failed my role as a grand daughter.
you know, when i was young, i could still vividly remember how much i used to talk and play with my grandparents,
now that im 21, im like not talking to them!
im not making enough effort to communicate with them.
each time they are here at my house, they will watch tv and i'll just do my things.

i failed my role as a sister.
i don't know why i treat my sisters so coldly.
i dont know why sometimes i'm so harsh and stern to them unnecessarily.
i dont know why i cant bring down my pride to apologise to them.
i dont know why am i so selfish towards them sometimes.
i feel that i've really let them down. they really deserve a sister who is better.

i failed my role as a girlfriend.
the way to a man's heart is through is stomach.
i cant even prepare a simple meal for him.
i cant fulfill my promises
and there's still so much i dont understand and dont know abt him.

i failed my role as a best friend.
need i elaborate more?
what did i really do as a best friend?
i cant remember doing anythings for my best friends.

i feel so sorry for everyone around me. sorry for them to have someone like me.

after today, i want to be a better person.
a better samantha.
a better daughter, grand daughter, sister, girlfriend and best friend.








im trying hard to walk out of my emo circle.
no more emo entries from me.

the hormones in my body have all gone haywire again.
i waited and waited, its still not here.
im sick of eating pineapple everyday.
and i have to wait for like one month for to get my womb scanned.

should there be anything wrong with my womb, i guess i would be dead by then.







my mood is just like a roller coaster ride.
someone, please turn off the tap in my eye.

i don't know what i've been busying with.

i feel so busy.

or maybe, i tried to fill my time up,

so that i can live in my own world,
not caring the rest outside my circle.

sorry to friends whom i rejected dates, gathering etc.
yes, im down with project,
but the other reason is,

i just want to live in my own world, alone, for a little while.

我想。。。

人人常说的“船到桥头自然直”

只是一种 逃避问题的借口吧。

当世界不知不觉的变了

有时候我怀念以前的我

作的梦虽然远远的

想像是一种快乐



拥有了同时也失去什黱

而眷恋原来会带来软弱

你让我在雾里成熟 心开始曲折



我不想舍得 不想懂得

是谁惹谁言不由衷

说谎伤害都是不安犯的错

怕抱不紧什黱



我不想舍得 不想懂得

谁说割爱才更深刻

彼此依赖是爱不是负荷

能握著手就是感动的







just came back from a relatives' wedding dinner.

unlike the other wedding dinners that i attended previously,

the emerging feeling of wanting to get married didnt arise.

even though the restuarant was filled with blissful atmosphere and romantic songs,

all i could feel was......a tinge of sadness.



i tried v hard to fight back the welling tears.

i tried v hard to brush away all my insecurities.



im dwelling into my redundant emo-ness again.

不知不觉, 一年就这样过去了.

从中, 我领悟到....


时间 真的会让一个人渐渐地被遗忘.



啊公, 我好想你.

after 28373856million years of not having McDonald's breakfast.....

i managed to persuade daddy to bring me to have hotcakes today!

can you believe i didnt sleep well that night before because i was too excited?
woke up at 6.45am today, and got myself ready for hotcakes!
its that early because mummy got doctor apptm at 8.45am.

my hotcakes plus sausage plus harsh brown plus hot tea!

daddy with michelledaddy and mummy. i think my mummy is cute! haha. so kpo of what my dad is doing


i think it will be another 18375946 years before i get to eat McDonald's breakfast again.

简单 真的很幸福

Second time within a month

Once again.
i lose my voice. cant talk, cant sing, cant scream.

but i can still irritate people with my "sexy" voice.
haha.

finally, i cleared my sleep debt today

after sleeping for 12 hours straight!

i tell you, its shiok.

haha



no school today,

so i decided to drive to changi rise to work out in the gym.

reached there at abt 12.30, and theres no one there. =)

i can have the whole gym to myself.



before i left, guess what i saw?



A gardenia bread vending machine!
very cool hor!
bread also have vending machine leh.


i think Mcdonald's should have vending machines stationed everywhere also.
so i can satisfy my crave for hotcakes and harshbrown every morning at SIM. =)


i wonder when can i have hotcakes and harsh browns again.




read i weekly, and saw this:

所有选择到头来一定都是错的, 因为当时间过去, 失去的, 全会变成最好的.


maybe...
maybe not.

in economics term, its the opportunity cost.

ive been busy for the past week.
almost project-ing everyday.

but today, my group members decide that its time for us to take a little break!
so we went back to SP to play badminton.
its been so long since i've exercise, and sweating it out really feels great (even though i can foresee me feeling achy tml morning)

anyways, i have some overdue pictures.

3rd day of CNY



went to my grandma house at changi rise to have the annual gathering with the distant relatives.
im tired to repeating the same answers to the questions post by different relatives.
yes, im 21 years old this year, grow up already.
yes, im studying at SIM
yes, im still the shortest among my sis
yadayada, its quite tired to pretend u're smiling sincerely.

as usual, we gambled all the way close to midnight before they start leaving.
i didnt gamble lar. just stayed in one of the room to watch tv and sleep. boring.

me and baby cousin. she is so cute lar!



met up with the royal clique on 4th day of CNY for lunch at waraku clarke quay.
i think the food was somewhat a dissapoinment to me. cos i prefer the pasta one compared to the japanese cusine one.
pictures are still with WU JIA YI.
wahaha

i started work at the ice cream gallery on the fifth day of CNY. i opened the shop and had to clean the refrigerator. such tedious work and i must work alone. even though it was a monday, business was still as good. i was like busy throughout the afternoon.
and the clumsy me, fell frm the chair while climbing up to take some tubs to replenish.
pain can! i was rewarded with a big patch of blue black on my left leg.


as for valentines day, i do have a date.
i have a date with the delicious and colourful icecream at eastwood centre.
yes, im working, so i dont need to see lovey dovey couples walking down the streets whispering sweet nothings to each other.

business was so good on valentines that i feel so shag.
and when i was washing up, one of the glass bowls slipped off my hands and dropped on the floor.
i cut myself while brushing off the shattered glasses on my toe.

how dumb and stupid and careless can i be?
i injured myself 2 times in a row.
and then i remembered i haven bai tai sui.
so being pantang,
i pestered my dad to bring me to bai tai sui on the following sunday,
and so far, everything have been smooth for me.

some times its better to believe lar hor?

then.....*drum rolls* its wenna 21st birthday on 16 feb!
mL celebrated her bday on 15th feb.

below are only some of the pictures.
for the full set of pictures, ah wei have uploaded it onto her blog.

we went bakerzin at millenia walk for dinner.
and i ordered their steak and mushroom sandwich.


and i forgot which girl decided to take my top layer of the sandwich and play with it. and still say it looks like a slim hanphone.

and so, this is my new flip phone.


look at the aftermath of my poor steak and mushroom sandwich.


the birthday girl with the cake which came complimentary by bakerzin.


as we decided to stay overnight at sasa hse that night,
we planned to cook teochew porridge with some simple dishes!
so we went carrefour to shop for food.



our trolley full of bags instead of food.


us, choosing cabbage


we proceed to esplanade after that.
that place was flooded with people who were watching chingay.

us.


us, with me on the phone with bf. look like some uncivilised china woman.


and then.... we decided to carry out the 21st birthday mission.

1st, bday girl have to wear the shirt that we provide!

(PS. i designed and draw the shirt and im super proud of my work can! im a retard when it comes to art!)



the mission


we were all so nervous and excited for wenna when helping her to target guys!

look at her expression!

not sure whether to approach the coming grp of guys or not.

and finally, after 21 guys wished her happy birthday, mission accomplished!


waited for 12am to strike to wish her official 21st birthday!
and present the 21st birthday cake!

can u see the cake being aligned into 21 in chinese characters?

wenna, and the scrap book that we (true loves) did


decided to book a maxi cab home.
the fare is quite worth it since theres so many people sharing.
while waiting for the cab....

presenting you, the dolls.




TRUE LOVEs aka mL wishes wenna a happy 21st birthday!


our breakfast the next morning, prepared by our future teacher, MS ONG

wenna, hope u enjoyed that day. kuai le zhui zhong yao! we love you!!!!


so random photos before i end.

me with mr police bear













despite having to become more matured after all the stuffs i experience, but deep down inside, i know im still childish. i wish i have more sense of responsibility. im so sick on myself for being so childish sometimes.

i feel like im nothing.
nothing.
nothing at all.