my story. my life

i tried to appear normal infront of everyone.
its really tiring by trying so hard.

everyday, my throat hurts so much from gulping down my tears, so as the tears wont flow out of my small eyes.

everyday, i tell myself he would get better, but the reality is just so true for me to deceive myself.

everyday, i cry myself to slp, hoping that the day wont come.

everyday, i woke up with sore eyes and headache, without the motivation to do
anything, yet i have an important task on hand.

everyday, i would start thinking of the past, and i would be disgusted by my
actions, for going out with my frens instead of having dinner at his house.

everyday, i have to tell myself to be strong, but whenever i thought of the pain he is suffering, i breakdown.

everyday, when i visit him, i hate myself for not being able to chat much with him and ease the pain he is suffering.

yes, there's an end eventually in one's life.
but he dun deserve to suffer all these pain. really.

im tired.
i dun wanna be strong.
i dun wanna pretend nothing's wrong.

its really so hard to accept the reality,
no matter how prepared i am, i still wont be able to accept the worst.