my story. my life

these few days, i've been reflecting so much on myself.
after doing so,
i feel that i failed almost all the roles that i played in my life.

i failed my role as a daughter.
didn't really do much to help my dad.
didn't really do much to help my mum.
have been relying so much on the maid.

i failed my role as a grand daughter.
you know, when i was young, i could still vividly remember how much i used to talk and play with my grandparents,
now that im 21, im like not talking to them!
im not making enough effort to communicate with them.
each time they are here at my house, they will watch tv and i'll just do my things.

i failed my role as a sister.
i don't know why i treat my sisters so coldly.
i dont know why sometimes i'm so harsh and stern to them unnecessarily.
i dont know why i cant bring down my pride to apologise to them.
i dont know why am i so selfish towards them sometimes.
i feel that i've really let them down. they really deserve a sister who is better.

i failed my role as a girlfriend.
the way to a man's heart is through is stomach.
i cant even prepare a simple meal for him.
i cant fulfill my promises
and there's still so much i dont understand and dont know abt him.

i failed my role as a best friend.
need i elaborate more?
what did i really do as a best friend?
i cant remember doing anythings for my best friends.

i feel so sorry for everyone around me. sorry for them to have someone like me.

after today, i want to be a better person.
a better samantha.
a better daughter, grand daughter, sister, girlfriend and best friend.








im trying hard to walk out of my emo circle.
no more emo entries from me.