my story. my life

argh~~
im so so so tired.
my back is breaking.
my spine hurts like hell!

am back from potong pasir.
go potong pasir de AWWA school to help out.
its actually part of pur project for character developement module.
AWWA caters to children who are autistic or with down syndrome or physical disability.
went there after our lesson.
reached there at 2.30pm
and ended everything at abt 6pm.
and we still have two more weeks to complete this project.

my class were divided into pairs
and each pair was appointed to a class.
i paired with celine.
and appointed to class 10.
each class only have at most 6 students
and 2 teachers,
and these students im appointed to is autistic de.
defination of autistsm : a mental condition characterised by great difficulty to communicate with others.

was very nervous at 1st.
cos i dun know how to handle 'normal' kids le,
not to say autistic kids.
but after interacting with them,
i really feel that they are cute.
though they are rather naughty and tends not to listen to ur instructions,
but all their emotions are showed on their face.
if they are happy, they show u they are happy.
if they are angry, they show u they are angry buy throwing tantrums.
i cant handle those tantrums.
luckily got the teachers there to help.
i always tot that autism is wad we always c in movies,
they dun wanna tok and communicate, juz sit alone in a corner themselves.
but after today,
i found out that im wrong.
they may be down with autism, but they are still very hyper.
juz tt they could not tok.
at the most they mumble but u cant really understand wad they toking lar.
the kids im appointed to all very hyper de.
run here run there.
if u never keep ur eyes on them,
they will be missing the next moment,
cos they really can run.

there's this particular boy,
at 1st he see mi, he dun dare to interact with mi.
but after a while,
he climbed onto my body
and hugged mi so tight that i cant breathe.
i've to struggle so hard to make him loose grip frm mi.
i was terrified lar.
but the teachers say this his his way of tellin u 'hey! play with mi!"
but the teachers dun encourage us to keep carrying them
as it will soon become their habit.

another thing is tt, they do not know how to clean their running nose.
so this boy who love clinging onto mi like kolar bear
cleaned his nose on my sleeve.
so my sleeve got alot of mucus.
but...i dun mind lar.
can wash away de mah.

den got another boy is very violent de.
the teacher say when he is agitated, he can juz flung himself onto the wall
and i was like o_o"""
and i saw him throwing the register book on the floor in a very violent manner and he took of his shoe and flinked it ard which hit the boy beside him and den throw the shoe down on the floor.
and i cant stop him alone.
the teacher muz like pin him down and den calm him down.

den its the kids playgrd time.
god~~ they are really hyper
cant control them.
and at the end of the day,
they dun wanna leave the playgrd.
so kinda have to drag them out.

and finally, its the end of the day!
they go home by school bus.

and on the way home,
was thinking quite alot.
i saw those kid's de parents
they are really very normal pple.
but the child they give birth to is born with unfortunate illness which can never be cured.
and the worst thing is they have to take care of them for the whole entire of their life.
imagine i juz interact with them for juz 3 hrs
and i already start to loose my patience and feel so tired.
den wad abt their parents?

haiz.
giving birth to a child is not easy.
but raising the child is even more difficult.
somemore, u cant be 100% sure that the baby u giving birth to is healthy.
u got to bare the full responsibility of that child no matter he/she is healthy or not.
suddenly have the phobia of giving birth.
im not having the tot that giving birth is a wonderful thing.
wad if my baby is not healthy?
i cant juz abandon them like tt rite?
the responsibility is juz so great.

guess that im really an irresponsible person ba.

argh~~ am juz so so so lazy to go bath now and finished uo my tutorial for tml!